Be That As It May: Happy Valentine’s Day

My newspaper column for this week:

There are Valentine Scrooges and Valentine Pollyannas. Reporter, Shelley Boettcher is a Valentine Pollyanna. She says that she loves “any excuse for people to tell each other they’re great, and any excuse to eat chocolate.” And she loves “heart-shaped things.” On the other hand, comedian Jim Gaffigan is Scrooge (before his enlightenment) come to life. Simply put, he wants to “get rid of Valentine’s Day as a holiday.”

I fall right smack dab in the middle. Kind of a Scroogey Pollyanna. Or Pollyanna with a little bit of an edge. I like heart shaped things and chocolate and an excuse to tell others they are great. But I understand Gaffigan’s stance too. After all, it is a made-up holiday–made up to separate you from your money for cards and candy and flowers.

We all remember the days of our youth, when as an art project in school we covered a shoe box in paper and lace and buttons and bows (if you were a girl—cannot remember what the boys did) and put it on the corner of your desk awaiting a bounty of paper valentines on that fateful day. Those were the days! Actually after a story I heard the other day—those were not necessarily the days. A very accomplished woman I know remembers those days with little fondness. Guess there was no tradition at her public school to use art class as a time to express yourself and make a box for Valentines. She said that at her school kids just left Valentines on the desks, and it seems the one who got the most was the winner. She only got two that memorable day, and though she is long over the trauma, she still remembers.

I like the idea of the box we fashioned for our Valentines even more now. If you did not receive many cards at least you were the only one to know as they were privately ensconced in cardboard for your eyes only. I remember when my kids were little, I made sure that everyone in their class got a card (with a candy or lollipop attached) – so no one was left out. I know that some feel we should not coddle our kids and they need to learn the hard lessons early—but I am not of that school (and to this day I thank teachers who sent home a list of the names of the kids in the class—perhaps a subtle hint—but one that I appreciated).

Shelley Boettcher, lover of all things Valentine was asked to be the pro in a pro and con story for CanWest. I wonder if she lost a bet and drew the short straw for this story—but she did a fine job in making Valentine’s Day palatable. Her response to the usual protests against the holiday was “Whatever.” She likes the cards, making heart-shaped cookies, and eating heart-shaped pizza. She fervently believes that Valentine’s Day is “an opportunity to slow down our busy lives and tell our friends and family that we love them.”

She says it is the simple things the day brings that are the most precious: ‘a homemade card from your kid, a chance to sleep in (if Valentine’s Day happens to be on a Saturday, which BONUS, it is this year), heart shaped latte art, cinnamon hearts and kisses.” She believes that the only thing that can spoil the day is a “thoughtless gift” but makes it clear that chocolates and flowers are not in that category.

Jim, on the other hand, thinks that Valentine’s Day is “a litmus test on the status of my relationship”. He voiced his dislike (dare I say disdain) for the holiday on CBS Sunday Morning, and after hearing his diatribe one went away with the feeling that he is a guy who finds the whole thing distasteful. Literally. He describes the candies with the words like love and hug inscribed on them as “heart shaped chalk antacids”. He says that eating the chocolates in heart-shaped boxes is a gamble as there is no guarantee that you are not going to get “one filled with toothpaste” and the only way to eradicate the taste is to “eat nine more.” He also thinks it makes being single “brutal” as it just reminds you that you are alone; and he says it is no better for couples—to him Valentine’s Day is just “another opportunity to fail.”

I think my sister sums up the day perfectly in a comment she made on my blog last year when I wrote about Valentine’s Day. She said “I just like to be remembered, whether it be a card or chocolates or flowers or all three. It is the thought–and I mean this, just to know he (her husband Herb) cares enough to take a little time out of his day to think of me as his Valentine.”

Give me your good Valentine memories….