A Bit of A Rant – But It Is Only the Tip of the Iceberg


                I just finished reading a blog post about weakness. And in that post, weakness was personified as feminine. I could not get past the fact that terms used to describe weakness—not the least being “he cried like a little girl” are offensive and merely lend credence to the fact that we are not as far in this journey of equality as I thought. The post was probably a good one, but I could not get beyond the way that feminine traits are looked upon as weak.

                I admire a man who cries—he is not weak—in fact he is usually so strong in his convictions, in his compassion, in his beliefs—that this outlet is far from being weak. And when a woman cries—it is because that is how she becomes brave—that is how she gets over things—that is how she temporarily expresses her anger, frustration, and sometimes, compassion for others.

                Whenever I see tears well up in my husband’s eyes, I know that he has been touched deeply by things—and to be touched deeply is not for cowards. It is a deep disservice to men (I am the mother of two boys) to have their feelings taken away from them. To disrespect someone, to mock someone, to make fun of someone for being “soft” is outrageous.

                I do not mean soft in not having strength of conviction, in being spineless, or lax and pathetic. I mean soft as being flexible, sympathetic, gentle, sensitive, and soft-hearted.

                Men and women need to give men permission to feel and to express their feelings in ways that do not entail punching a hole in a wall, spouting angry words, or making fun of perceived weaknesses.

                As a woman, I cry. And I always feel I have to apologize for crying. Yet it is a real expression of real emotions, real feelings. And I should not have to apologize. Nor should you have to apologize to me for crying.

                Equality has a myriad of faces. That there is even the question whether or not men and women are equal angers me. Men should not feel the burdens they do; women should not apologize for their independence. It is so basic and so ingrained in me that I cannot see the other side of this issue. As far as I am concerned there is no valid argument for inequality. And once everyone agrees that men and women are irrevocably, conclusively, forever equal — men will not be made fun of for expressing their emotions; and woman will not be looked upon as weak.

Published in: on September 17, 2013 at 12:43 pm  Comments (44)  
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Going Out on a Limb for Bliss

This is my “going out on a limb” post–where I am being very revealing for me.

Bleeding Heart

(MY) Bleeding Heart (Photo credit: dog.happy.art)

I have a confession to make. My bliss resolution is having some good days and bad days. But that is not the confession. The confession is that I want to take my journey to find my bliss and turn it into a book, including your comments. You will not be identified unless you want to be—but the kernel of my idea is to use each post as a chapter of its own—with a summary of your comments to give it more life.

The writer, many times out of necessity creates in a vacuum. The writer who creates, then posts their creation on their blog gets feedback. Voices other than the author’s are given their due, and in fact make what the writer wrote originally more interesting. At least that is my theory. And I am sticking by it.

I have found a wonderful world of smart, wise, and kind bloggers and readers. Some of you are sweet; some of you are to the point; some of you are philosophical; and some of you are thoughtful; but all of you round out any post I make into a piece that I think is worth sharing.

Knowing this, today I am asking you to provide me with a short synopsis of what would make your bliss come to fruition if you could eliminate it from your lives.

I will show you mine if you will show me yours. That is only fair. I am not going to ask you for something I myself am not willing to do.

Generally I do not like to reveal too much, but today I will so you will feel more free to open up too.  The one thing that is preventing me from reaching full bliss is an ongoing lawsuit, that is going into its ninth year. It has stripped us of a business we owned and set us on a path that has made me both more compassionate and humble. I have had to ask for help on many different levels—and if there is one good outcome from this infernal lawsuit that is it.

In the past I refrained from asking for help as much as I could, thinking that it showed weakness. That it was a chink in my armour. But it is not. I have asked for help and received it with great patience and compassion. There have been some hard times, but through those times I know there are people I could call on to help me out. And sometimes that is all I need.

No one can simplify their lives down to one thing that would make a difference. But today, I am asking you to choose that one thing that seems to be barring you from a life of bliss.

Okay, I am going to press publish now….


Published in: on January 30, 2013 at 2:00 pm  Comments (70)  
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,