Just Being Silly Today: Gastronomical Dreams

Dream!

Dream! (Photo credit: Melody Campbell)

If a restaurant were to name something after you, what would it be? Describe it.

It would be called the “Can’t Clean Your Plate Annie”. I am notorious for never cleaning my plate of all the food I am served. This of course enamoured me to my boyfriend, now husband, who gets to finish my steak or roast beef or half of the dessert that I thought I wanted but could not finish. (Funny he never opts for the broccoli or salad I leave behind–though I must admit I do not often leave salad or broccoli behind).

Though only part of my name is Ann, my full name is just not lyrical enough to name a dish after—it is, if I might be ever so slightly clever, a mouthful ~ as I added my husband’s name to mine making it  an even longer drink of water than it was before.

My signature dish would have to involve broiled scallops,  jumbo shrimp, and bacon wrapped steak, with a side of lobster and liquid butter in a small silver tureen (not cup, yes I said tureen), and don’t forget the twice baked potato with cheese and bacon bits topped with a dollop of sour cream and of course grilled asparagus sprinkled with parmesan. I think if I had to ask for a last meal on the last day of my death penalty stay in prison it would have to be this meal. And for dessert—chocolate cake and cherry pie with pretzel ice cream and chocolate sauce. {Yes my eyes are bigger than my tummy, hence the dish “Can’t Clean Your Plate Annie”.}

I know I have digressed from the original query from Michelle, but I got lost in a gastronomically sweet dream.

What would your dream meal consist of? (And no healthy choices today!)

Published in: on July 23, 2013 at 12:46 pm  Comments (24)  
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~ If It Is Saturday – It Must Be Recipe Day! ~

Vegetarians look away.

knife & fock

knife & fork (Photo credit: Elena Karelova)

I have told you about our “family cookbook”–the one that for about ten years all of my family contributed to at the behest of my sister Peggy. She covered binders in beautiful cloth for each of us, and only asked that every year at Christmas we contribute three recipes. Some years I was inspired–and some years I thought I was a comedian.

In 1995, it was a “comedian” year. So here was one of my contributions (I was young, I was stupid, I needed the money–okay this last one does not apply here):

*John K’s Favourite Meal #1

Ingredients: 1 very large steak, sufficiently marbled to cause a flare-up on the barbeque

A1 and Heinz steak sauce

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

1 bottle of HP steak sauce or Heinz 57 sauce

salt

Method:

1. Tear off plastic wrapper.

2. Put on barbeque.

3. Cook on high. Burn. Turn over when flames reach three feet or neighbours call fire department.

4. Done when brown inside (better known as well done). If particularly hungry, done while still dripping in blood and transferred to microwave. Done when brown inside.

5. Put on platter. Enjoy with copious amounts of steak sauce and a Lot’s wife size amount of salt.

*John K’s Favourite Meal # 2

Ingredients: 1 very large slab of prime rib roast

gravy

salt

Method: roast beef in oven until brown. Make gravy. Flood plate with said gravy over slabs of prime rib. Add enough salt to kill a horse and horse radish.

My cooking skills have since improved to the point where we no longer cook steaks or roasts until they are well done. We are sophisticated now–we like a little red in the meats that having a little red will not kill you, or send you to the emergency ward to have your stomach pumped.

My husband’s Neanderthal tastes have also been tamed. He now eats fruits and vegetables. His repertoire is not wide in these areas, and I am sure if left on his own, he would not need to supplement his meals with those pesky things like potatoes, rice, vegetables and salads. Good thing he has me–a mediocre cook who sometimes serves salad in a bowl, which he has to finish before he gets the rest of the meal.

Okay–here is one for the vegetarians, if you happened to read down this far:

Ingredients for making a fermented salsa. Cloc...

Ingredients for salsa. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Salsa

5 cups coarsely chopped tomatoes

3/4 cup of chopped spanish onion

3/4 cup of sweet red peppers

1 hot pepper

1 large clove garlic

5 1/2 oz can tomato paste

1/2 cup white vinegar

2 tablespoons white sugar

2 tablespoons lime juice

1 1/2 teaspoons pickling salt

1 tsp paprika

1 tsp oregano

Cook until thick.

Note: We also add hot sauce and extra hot peppers for more spice.

This was a recipe included in the Family Cookbook and submitted by Mark and Chrissie who are my nephew and niece by marriage. I have never made it as it has more than five ingredients–but I am positive it is good–because anything I have ever eaten at their house has been exceptional. Unfortunately, when I get a hankering for salsa, I buy it. The medium spicy. Unless Mark and Chrissie give me jar of theirs. Then I am in salsa heaven.

*my husband

Do any of you have stories to tell about your days before you became gourmet cooks?

Published in: on November 17, 2012 at 3:26 pm  Comments (45)  
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Party Like It is 1965!

A cooked hot dog garnished with mustard.

A cooked hot dog garnished with mustard. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Party! Party! Party! (Sorry that was a chant from 1973, the beginning of my university academic life–probably should have been study! study! study!–but just doesn’t have the same ring to it!)

Let the frivolity begin! It is Friday. Not only that, it is the beginning of a holiday weekend. The reason for the holiday weekend is superfluous to me; the important thing is that it is a holiday weekend.

Does anyone remember having wiener roasts? When it was okay to offer people hot dogs roasted over a real fire, with real wood in a brick encased fire pit? My parents had a sort of outdoor mini fireplace they built with my older brothers’ help and it was the heart of  summer at my house.

We gathered around the makeshift hearth for many a wiener roast, hamburger binge, and on occasion steak fry (it was not really fried, hence I do not understand the term, but hey, who am to argue with a time-honoured tradition?)

We did not have steak a lot, but my parents would buy a half cow or quarter cow at the end of summer from some farmer who had it wrapped in a million big and little brown packages secured with string.  At the beginning of the procurement of the partial cow, we had the steaks. The steaks were big T-bones, and if I remember correctly, I could eat one that was about half my size. Now mind you, as I get more mature (?) I may remember things a little differently than they really were—but I swear those steaks were humongous.

And we would have potato salad with egg (always with egg), cottage cheese encased in green Jell-O (which I would never, ever eat!), huge mounds of coleslaw, and for dessert there was watermelon. We would cut it so that we could eat it without forks, and of course have seed spitting contests. (This sounds like I am making it up—but I am not—just ask my brothers and sister—oh, sorry—they do not want me to divulge their identities—so you will just have to take it from me).

English: fresh potato salad

English: fresh potato salad (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There will be no wiener roast for me this Labour Day weekend. We had to retire our barbeque a few weeks ago as it had just given up the ghost. We put it out at the road, and some poor guy came along and took it before garbage day, and as he was loading it onto his truck, all the burnt briquettes spilled out onto him. I just happened to be looking out the front window when he was loading it up and felt bad for him. Hope he got something out of it for his trouble.

Anyway, I digress. I am not sure what is on the menu for this weekend. Are any of you having a barbeque you want to invite a charming couple to—we will byob and some extra if you throw a couple more hot dogs on the *barby for us. Have the mustard ready!

*Friends from down under — did I spell this right – feel free to correct me and I will edit it.

Published in: on August 31, 2012 at 2:16 pm  Comments (38)  
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