That Way Lies Madness

“Trust people to be who they are, and not who you want them to be.”
~ Richard Templar

The “period during which we function” known more familiarly as life, is full of contradictions. Richard Templar, author of “The Rules to Break” illustrates this clearly in his book. His Rule number 83 says: “Trust everybody”, while Rule number 84 on the very next page states unequivocally: “Trust no one.”

Confusing? On the surface, yes, but once he explains his concepts it makes sense. He theorizes that, “Trust is a wonderful feeling, with all the love and security it brings, so why deny yourself? That way lies madness.” And who in their right mind would choose madness (although I have often thought of it as an interesting alternative to sanity.) But on the next page of his book, he says, “…I can contradict myself if I like”, telling us that “Trust is a personal thing, and it has a lot to do with nuances and intuition about the person in question. Trust people to be who they are, and not who you want them to be.”

Templar argues that “The fact is that you must be a trusting person in order to feel at ease with yourself and life” BUT, and this should be the underlying advice to anyone who takes on life as a hobby: “…there’s no need to be stupid about it.” He says that he has friends that he would trust with his life, but he would not “necessarily let them look after my cat.”

What is a contradiction? On one hand contradictions can be ambiguities and paradoxes; on the darker side, they can be inconsistent and illogical. Ambiguities are hard to define in that they express uncertainty—or “something that can be understood in more than one way”. Paradoxes are enigmatic, puzzling, even mystical. They can readily be defined by one of my favourite sayings: “It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma.” Inconsistency and things that are not logical are harder to contend with and make trust all that more difficult.

Templar is right on both counts—but I can simplify his wisdom down to a few words: Trust, but don’t be stupid about it.

Published in: on October 2, 2014 at 3:46 pm  Comments (17)  
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17 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I agree with your simplified version…..listening intently to your intuition will not steer you wrong.

    • intuition can be pretty clear–our reading of it sometimes not so clear–or we don’t want to believe it

  2. You distilled this down to a basic truth beautifully LouAnn..

    • thanks Mimi–sometimes even a blind squirrel finds a nut (this is a favourite expression of my husband–I take no responsibility for it-lol)

      • Laughing – you deserve WAY more credit than that (tho’ I love the expression!)

  3. I trust people until they give me a reason not to.

  4. I think it’s true.. trust is wonderful, as long as it is not ‘blind’….. and you listen to the still small voice inside.. Diane

  5. My first instinct is usually to trust people unless they’re giving off a very untrustworthy vibe. But I wholeheartedly agree with your simplified version. Trusting is a choice we can make but as we all know, there are good choices and bad choices. It all comes down to which one we make. 😉

  6. I think you make a good point and I agree.

  7. I think without trust, there can be no peace. We just have to take our chances in the inherent goodness of humankind. Now that was hard to say in the face of today’s world of contradictions.

  8. I am usually too trustworthy when it comes to people and tend to believe the best in them until they really give me a reason not to.

    Choc Chip Uru

  9. I was getting confused, which is not difficult for me. I like your simplified version far better :).

  10. Trust is a tricky thing. You summed it up perfectly. Good morning!

  11. This is good and interesting and food for thought re my malevolent sister-in-law – no trust possible anymore and am glad to have accepted this now

    • learning who not to trust is as important as learning who to trust–I once had a brother-in-law and sister-in-law on my husband’s side (his brother and sister) but they are dead to me now

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