TMI

Well here it is–my weekly column. I know many of you await it with bated breath. This week I was channeling Joan Rivers before she became caustic, Erma Bombeck, with a little Carol Burnett thrown in for good measure (where is the King of the Jungle when you need him?)

Funny legs (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I was an abstainer. No way was I going to join Facebook. I did not understand it. I still do not quite understand it—but it has turned out to be fascinating. I have been on Facebook since January and to say it has changed my life would not be the correct assessment. But it has added another dimension. I can now see my far flung (and for that matter near flung) relative’s and friend’s antics. I have been able to connect to some friends I have not seen since university. I get to see my nephews and nieces and their kids (who are all exceedingly adorable—the originals and their offspring). I get to see what people think is important to share and it is a lesson in humanity and humility, fun and family.

 My picture is on my Facebook page, and while I do not think it does me justice (I am in a time warp—where did all those wrinkles come from?), it does depict me as I am today. A dyed in the wool brunette with a little gray on top I like to think of as my halo;  squinty (I prefer to think of them as sparkly) eyes  arrayed in glasses possibly a bit too prominent for my face; and a slight Mona Lisa smile to keep the jowls from sagging too much. (My niece Chay often gets after me when I humorously “put myself down” but it is a woman’s prerogative to make fun of herself. It does not necessarily mean I have trouble with my body image or the way I look—I kind of enjoy poking fun at myself. Note: I do not particularly enjoy it when other people do though—so if you see me at the grocery store, do not make fun of my nose.)

                I do not have many friends on Facebook and it is mostly by design. I befriended people I knew would not mind and most of those who have asked me—except for a couple of guys who seem kind of suspicious and look like relatives of the Duck Dynasty guys (hey, did you see a pic of some of them without their beards—wow!—but I digress.) Although, on second thought, the Duck Dynasty guys are kind of rich………..

Snoopy  (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Facebook is great if you are kind of snoopy. Which I am. Being a reporter is a good thing as I get to peek behind the curtains sometimes. Do not invite me to your house unless you are ready to have the door of your medicine cabinet opened. I do not judge though—I am just curious. (Just kidding). I am amazed at some of the things people share, and not because they share things that are weird and strange (though I do find those things interesting)—they share their knowledge, recipes, family life, reflections, and pictures.

                I understand why some people do not like Facebook—I can see that it could get out of hand—but the way I use it, I like it just fine.  I also have a Twitter account which I understand even less than I do Facebook. I tweet my blog posts and on occasion stuff like “the bird has left the nest” or “the horse is in front of the wagon”. These tweets make no sense, but neither do many of the tweets I have read.

                I could take the time to understand these tools of social media. In fact I will Google Facebook right now and find out what it says. I just love Google—it is such a lazy way to do research.  Okay, according to Wikipedia, “Facebook is an online social networking service. Its name comes from the colloquial name for the book given to students at the start of the academic year by some American administrations to help students get to know one another.” Cool. Now I am in the know. About ten years later than most others on this planet known as Earth.

                Okay, now what does it say about Twitter? Just a minute—or few minutes—my Internet seems to be on a bit of a siesta right now.  All knowing and All Seeing Wikipedia says that “Twitter is an online social networking and microblogging service that enables users to send and read “tweets”, which are text messages limited to 140 characters.” So that about sums it up. And it is still as clear as mud to me. Maybe in ten years I will understand it and tweet to my heart’s content.

                I am sure this column has been illuminating. Think of all the things you have learned about me that you really didn’t need to know:

1. I dye my hair but not religiously, hence the grey halo.

2. My eyes are close together.

3. It is okay for me to make fun of myself but not for anyone else to make fun of me.

4. I am woefully behind the times.

5. I am in denial about my age.

6. You do not want to invite me to your house unless you have cleaned out your medicine cabinet.

7. I am not, nor have I ever been “cool”.