The sceptical look (Photo credit: Bjørn Giesenbauer)
I am going to try something different today. I am going to put Ms. Sceptical on a shelf and do something I am not sure has merit, but I am not sure doesn’t.
There are those of you who are much more enlightened than I; your philosophy has a depth I perhaps cannot begin to understand, and you know that your ego is really a bit of a jerk so you have parted ways with it, if not literally at least figuratively. {Ego does not have to be a bad thing per se, if it is a healthy sense of self-esteem, but so many times it crosses into its inflated guise, where we teeter on the border of superiority. But that is a subject for another day}—back to~
What is the different thing I am going to try today? I am going to take my own advice (which sounds much easier than it is). My husband and I are awaiting some news right new that will determine what path we take next. And once again, yesterday, the decision was put off. It is not something that is within our control—it seems to have a life of its own—and anyone who has ever been mired in a lawsuit knows exactly what I mean.
In an effort to fend off the reaction I know my husband is going to have (if things do not go our way—and with the judicial system you just never know), I tried to explain to him that sometimes the messages we send out, come back in the manner in which we sent them. In other words, if we are negative, we get negative back. He was not in the mood for this (he is generally quite open minded, but right now is too stressed to take on any new practices). So I have decided to do what I asked him to do: give up on what I cannot change, accept it, and move on. But move on with a difference.
The difference will be that I am going to try to send out that which I want to receive. All those crazy people who believe we should send positive messages to the universe may not be all that crazy. I do not believe that this will magically change my life (but if it does, so much the better) but what could be the harm? Always thinking the worst, so far, has not been much help. There are people who say that we are self-delusional if we think these methods work, that we are putting our eggs in the wrong basket, and not accepting things as they really are; or we are setting ourselves up for an even bigger fall.
But, I say to these people, what have I got to lose?
(Photo credit: polkadotsoph)
I am reading “You Can Create an Exceptional Life” by Louise Hay (a champion of the positive if ever there was one) and Cheryl Richardson. Throughout the book they have provided numerous affirmations: things we should say to ourselves that many of us don’t, but the one I like the best and intend on repeating with some regularity is this:
“All is well. Everything is working out for my highest good. Out of this situation only good things will come.” ~ Louise Hay
There are many many affirmations throughout the book—some of them I find a little too—I don’t know, what it the word?—bizarre for my world, but many, if adopted, could do no harm. I will not be putting a mirror up in every room in my house soon (as Louise suggests) and tell myself that I am beautiful, but I will be trying to practice positivity on a more regular basis.
As you can imagine, there is not just one way to approach this—but the two I am going to work on are optimism and patience. Optimism defined in the book is “putting attention and energy toward solutions rather than focusing on problems.” Patience is “experiencing the journey fully and consciously rather than rushing to achieve a particular result.”
Perhaps with these two things in my arsenal, my journey to find bliss will be a little less rocky. What do you think?
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On the Homefront 
Like you say, some people believe in these things, some don’t. But either way, at the very least, focusing on positive things rather than negative things has got to help you feel better and happier, and when you feel better and happier you can deal with what life throws at you much better, right?
Right–that is my attitude, why stay in the muck and mire of negative things?
You are on the right track now. Keep going and stay positive. You never know what God has planned for you. 🙂
Just have to take your and my own advice!
We have a saying in our house: You can’t argue Crazy. But I’m not sure this applies to your situation. I just like saying it. I do wish you luck and I’m hoping for the best for you two.
I like your saying — maybe I will adopt it. Thanks for the good wishes!
Lou, being positive, so difficult through tough times. It helps if you can talk it out as you’re doing here and receive support and positive messages back for whatever problem life is throwing your way right now. I do believe it works — putting things out to Universe/God — whatever one believes. Kind of like karma, you know? Whatever the outcome, accepting and moving on, is really the only course one has if you think about it and how you move on makes all the difference. Sometimes when I’ve looked back on very difficult periods in my life — if things had happened any differently, I wouldn’t have learned what I needed to learn if they hadn’t happened.
Don’t mean to get so long-winded. I love Louise Hay and no, I don’t think you have to put mirrors up all over your house, but if that works, then it does. This thing you and your family have been going through sounds as if it’s taken a toll on you. A positive — you’re coming to the “end” of it, it sounds. The outcome most likely has been set in motion already. My hope is that the outcome best serves you — your family — whatever that may be — for your ultimate best. That’s my positive message I’m sending out for you. All IS well. And I repeat this one to myself when I get all worked up about something: Easy does it.
Good, good thoughts to you, my friend!
I agree with you heartily that accepting and moving on is the only answer–though it is hard particularly for my husband. We have been coming to an “end” for a long time (the lawsuit is eight years old now) and it seems like it has been put off until May again. But our lawyer is setting some things in motion that he did not before, so there is hope.
Thank you for your lovely comment and encouragement–it does make me feel better to be understood, and heard–ALL WILL BE WELL!
What have you got to lose? only negativity….. that’s not a bad thing to lose!
that is the attitude I should adopt
I wish you luck with this one, but I’m afraid Mr Sceptical can be a bit wary of affirmational books and quotes. Right now I haven’t been paid for seven weeks, and if it doesn’t happen tomorrow then it won’t happen till a week on Thursday at the earliest. Eight weeks with no money, even though I’m owed it.
Only good things will come of it? Oh really? I do hope so. I really hope something good comes of not eating for days on end, and dealing with having no heating in the coldest bit of this winter.
Sorry but you did ask…
Good luck again with whatever is going on down your way. And as Life in the 50s… says above, loss of negativity is no bad thing, unless the positivity is an illusion.
Brigitte probably said what I was thinking better than I could. I’m not sure I believe that positive affirmations will bring positive change, but I do believe that if I view something from a negative point I will cause just that outcome. I look back on my life and see some pretty horrible things, things I would never have wanted to experience, but they made me who I am because I allowed myself to learn from them. There are definitely somethings we have to experience whether we want to or not.
That being said, I think it’s hard to go through an experience like you are that will affect more than just yourself and expect everyone to come out of it with the same reaction. I hope your outcome is exactly what you want it to be, but if it isn’t I hope you and your husband can support each other through the decision and what comes as a result.
I think you are being very pragmatic–thank you for your wise words. I know we will be able to support each other through it–but I am getting weary of it just the same. It seems to be taking a long time for us to learn this particular lesson.
At the very least, you will feel better! At the best, everything works together for your good! 🙂
Now there is a bandwagon I can get on — a win/win situation–from your mouth to ..ears
here is what i did in the exact same situation (hortipak fire). i was in the same position of having no influence on the outcome of the lawsuits. so, every day on my drive to court in windsor i would reflect on my life to the people who i sincerely disliked and I would mentally send them love. how corny/crazy is that. and its not easy. and it makes you realize how small you can be. and did it help? who can say? we settled all our lawsuits within our insurance limits and our legal bill was manageable. I am satisfied with that outcome and I think my ‘love’ practice did help. i know i’m better for it personally as well as having a generally good outcome to my lawsuits. i hope this helps. Denise.
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This helps a great deal–thank you for this–and it gives me a new way of looking at things–kind of the forgiveness practice that is so hard to do, but if you can do it, is supposed to work.
So glad things worked out satisfactorily–it is so often not the case.
putting attention and energy toward solutions rather than focusing on problems— true but sometimes it is hard to do when the problems are overwhelming. It may take some time to focus but it sounds as though you are getting there. Whatever will be will be mantra?
Go with the flow — easy for me to say right? Sending good thoughts your way LouAnn. and as Brigitte said, ALL is and will be WELL
glad you recognize that sometimes things can be overwhelming — I hope beyond hope that you an Brigitte (and for that matter Louise) are right — thanks so much
It is difficult at times to think positively to receive a positive solution if the problem is so large but it is ok to let loose your negativity at first to allow space for positivity.
Cheers
Choc Chip Uru
now there is a good thought–clear out the bad, make room for the good–thank you CCU! (hugs)
Optimism and patience sound like two very good things to focus on. I find that it is the things in life that I have no control over but ultimately affect my life that are the hardest to deal with. I hope you have a positive resolution to the situation soon.
they are the hardest to deal with–I hate when I do not have control – therefore need patience and optimism in big doses
Like you, I sometimes have a problem with some of the more touchy-feely sparkly crystal self help stuff, but boiled down – a positive outlook and attitude can only make things better. Good luck and I hope you have a favourable outcome.
I like the way you boil down things — I have trouble with what I call “woo woo” stuff– but a positive outlook has to be better than the alternative. thanks for your well wishes
I’m a believer in contradicting negative thoughts with positive ones for sure…I spent too many years doing the opposite….Hope things come out well for you….you’ll be in my thoughts …Diane
Thanks so much Diane — I will try to keep a stiff upper lip and believe that all will be well.
I will send all my positive energy your way Lou.
Thank you Peggy – it is much appreciated–you help in so many ways!
This is wonderful. Really, really good. I am negative and a worrier and say, write, and make mistakes when I should have thought longer and harder. I hope and pray that all of your stress will be soon be over.
Fond regards,
Yvonne
thanks so much for your prayers–I hope it will be over soon too 🙂
Optimism and keeping positivity up was also something I used to struggle with (and still do, on occasion). But like you said, there’s nothing to lose in hoping for the best. I think the key word in all of this is acceptance….. regardless of the outcome, if you can accept it and let everything else go, then things will be okay in the end. Sounds a little hokey and cliche but I’m learning that sometimes cliche works. Hoping for the best for you and sending you lots of positive energy! 🙂
Thank you for the positive energy — and I agree with you that cliche works or it would not be cliche–and the key is acceptance if you can do nothing about it
We all have up days and down days, but you know me well enough by now to know that I believe in being as positive as possible because life is just too damn short!! Here’s a quote that I found tonight that I think you might enjoy:
“Optimism is the most important human trait, because it allows us to evolve our ideas, to improve our situation, and to hope for a better tomorrow.” ~ Seth Godin
I love that quote–you may just see it in a post! One of the things I like the most about you (and there are lots of things, barring the mystery photo-lol) is your positive atttitude
I have always lived my life sending positive energy into the universe, no matter whether life is happy or sad at the time – it seems to come back, but even when it doesn’t I still feel positive about the future regardless.
Best of luck that this decision goes your way and if not, keep sending those positive vibes – everything happens for a reason 😉
Sending good wishes your way xoxoxo
Thanks so much for your good wishes — I think sending positive energy is the best way to go no matter the outcome–brooding over stuff is just a waste of time
What a long drawn out ordeal -or challenge or whatever you call it., LouAnn. That’s so tough. The thing about that infuriating phrase ‘look on the bright side of things’, is that I feel why cross bridges of misery before I come to them.
So I’ll think and dream about what I want until the word comes that it’s not working out, but at least i had had that pleasure of dreaming before the outcome – whatever it is. Not sure this is making sense – it’s very late here.
Anyway, thinking of you LouAnn
it makes perfect sense–why live in misery before you know for sure the outcome–dreaming good dreams is a wonderful way to cope in the meantime
Optimism and patience are certainly a good way to get through life. I used to be quite an optimistic person and it got me though many things, so I too am going to try to get back to that.
Good luck! I sure do hope things turn out the way you want them to.
I think we do get mired in our troubles and almost forget to be optimistic sometimes–thank you for your good wishes
I’m going to put your name on my church’s prayer roll, Lou Ann. I just feel your desperation and anxiety jumping off the page. You are kindness personified and I think at this point you’re not just looking for a positive outcome but maybe some relief? As am I. It’s hard to live in limbo land for such a long time – it feels chronic and is 180 degrees away from who you and I are. I say ENOUGH for both of us. I will think positive thoughts along with you, I like the one you picked out, and I will try to remember that “God’s trains always run on time.” A good friend of mine always says that and I believe it’s true. We can’t see the big picture or how things are working to the good, but I know they are.
I love your spunk and spirit and optimism, even when it gets a little deflated it’s better than most. Hang in there, lady. I’m standing right beside you, shoulder to shoulder. 🙂
You are very perceptive and thank you for putting me on the prayer list — that is a wonderful thing to do. I hope you are right about the big picture–without some spirit and optimism (and help from friends and family) I would not have gotten this far
i’ve been trying to add those to my arsenal as well. I hope the lawsuit turns out the way you hope and the way i know you deserve.
thanks so much for your support — it really does mean a lot
as for our arsenal — I have to practice patience every day
Since you wrote this blog, LouAnn, what do you think. Did your approach “work” or at least “help” a little bit?
As with many of us parting with our egos–don’t we WISH? A lot of people have a depth-filled philosophy but haven’t learned to LIVE it. I am trying to live what I know. It makes us equals with everyone we might because we tend to respond with ego way too often…
it seriously does help to be more positive, but it certainly does not happen overnight–we have to retrain ourselves
as for parting with my ego–that is an ongoing struggle
I love Louise Hay’s wonderful affirmations. I’ve tried to internalize many of them. Sometimes easier said than done when life is difficult! But I completely agree that life is a mirror of what we are. Even in difficult situations, being positive and hopeful will generate better things than being negative, bitter, and angry. How could it work any other way? Good luck with your issues that are waiting to be resolved. It will work out, and you’ll recall this as a time of growth, I’m sure! ~ Sheila
It is easier said than done, but so many things worthwhile are–I cannot wait to look back on this as growth — been a long time coming
Hi. Thanks for visiting me at http://ja2da.com
Being a dyed-in-the-wool cynic I understand about it being tough to be positive. Luckily(?) I’m married to someone who, like you, wants to be able to see the plus side – so I have plenty of opportunities to realise I’ve slipped, which I do, often!
(But I love her to pieces, so that’s OK)
David
being positive is not easy – glad you have your wife to help
Worth a try, isn’t it? 🙂
It most certainly is!