Bliss is Forgetting Perfection and Embracing Our Messes

Spirit Head

Spirit Head (Photo credit: eskimo_jo)

My response to a blog I read this morning:

Okay – in all of life’s mess, this was a perfect post that I read at a perfect time written by one of my perfect blog friends. Thank you for making the choice to share this–oh, how I needed to read what you wrote this morning. Life is a series of messes and if I would just give in to that I would be so much happier, so much more adventurous, so much less afraid–I will try to embrace this–and as I have before and I am sure I will do again–I will use this on my own blog as it is so perfect–but give you the kudos for discovering it and writing about it so eloquently.

Lake Superior

Lake Superior (Photo credit: kjell)

The blog I refer to is written by Kathy from Lake Superior Spirit, and titled  “Let’s mess up a little today, shall we?”  She used these words in her post from her latest favourite spiritual teacher, Jeff Foster:

Forget “perfection”. 

Forget trying to get it “right” all of the time. 

Here’s to doing your best, falling flat on your face, getting up again, falling down again, fucking up totally, failing beyond belief, being laughed at, ridiculed, mocked, even crucified, and losing what you thought was yours. And here’s to embracing the mess of it all, dying to the dream and waking to the reality of it, loving the perfect imperfection of it, opening your heart wide to all of it, continuing to live your truth despite everything, fearlessly meeting each sacred moment…

You cannot get it “right”, and that’s why you cannot get it “wrong”…

So many times I find that other bloggers define for me what is important in my life. They are brave souls, unafraid of putting themselves out there in order to share with the rest of us. Kathy is one such brave blogger, who captures so much of life on her blog in words that are at once poetic and approachable.

I am going to forget perfection, because in trying to attain it, I am afraid of falling flat on my face (though this has happened many many times due to my bountiful gracefulness); I realize I am going to mess up totally; I am going to chance being laughed at, ridiculed, mocked and even crucified, because really, where has the safe path led me?

I want to open my heart wide, continue to live my truth (and in living my truth, have the gumption to state it) and fearlessly meet each sacred moment—because if I don’t, will I really have lived?

Thank you Kathy for your post. Go and read her—she expressed this so much better than I (or is it me–I often get this confused—but hey, I am forgetting perfection, remember?)

Bliss is to me forgetting perfection: how about you?

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64 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. That’s actually one of the things that drew me to blogging – I slowly transformed in to a writer who never finished anything because it was never “perfect.” Blogging to a schedule makes me hit publish, typos, imperfect jokes and all.

    • It is a good master isn’t it — like the deadline I need to meet for the newspaper– whether something is perfect or not, it has to be done

  2. LouAnn,
    Perfection to me is accepting your flaws, and your existence as a flawed being. Personally, it encourages me to get better… I embrace the imperfect man that I am.

    • I agree with your philosophy–and must learn to embrace my imperfections–because if I don’t, there will be nothing to embrace or improve

  3. Thank you, LouAnn, for wanting to fearlessly follow your heart. Perhaps just that desire is enough for us–if we forgive our human messes, too. Love that you were inspired this morning, just like I was inspired, and that we’re passing it on…

    • Thank you for the inspiration – it really hit a much needed note for me today…………..

  4. Kathy’s words always ring so true! Love this follow-up on it — letting things go often reveals the bliss that hides underneath. ~ Kat

    • I love that analysis: letting go often reveals the bliss that hides underneath”–where were you when I was writing this–thanks for adding this

  5. Realising that we are not perfect is a perfect realisation! We really are our own worst enemies sometimes aren’t we, always setting the bar at impossible heights for what we think we should be and what we should achieve, and then berrating ourselves for not achieving these unrealistic goals. We really should give ourselves a break now and again!

    • I so agree — the standards we set are so unrealistic–we will meet our goals if we are kinder to ourselves

  6. I have never associated myself with the word perfection. I strive for close enough and I’m happy with that.

    • I think “close enough” is realistic and not crazy causing–you sound like a very smart person–but we already knew this didn’t we?

      • Well, I don’t prove that on a weekly basis–damn mystery photo! And I thought I was close enough last week!

      • I think she should start accepting “close enough” answers–then you and I might have a chance of winning!

      • Wow, the mystery photo even comes up mid-week!! You guys are a little obsessed I think LOL!!

      • you affect our lives so much and do not even realize what you do to our fragile egos Ms.Looney!

      • Aww, you know you love it!! I affect your lives in a good way by making you laugh with all of your blogging friends every Friday!! 🙂

      • that is very very true — you light the way on Fridays!

      • 🙂

  7. Ah, a recurring theme in life! I like to think of it as grace..extending grace to myself and others, and accepting that in return, in the many ways I need it! This is a perspective that I’ve grown into…I was very idealistic when I was younger, but life has softened me up a bit! And I think I’m better for it. I’ll check out the post! ~ Sheila

    • I love that use of grace, when we allow it for ourselves and extend it to others we are reaching perfection without knowing it–I am still idealistic, but like you, it is tempered with experience from life

      • Oh, I still have my ideals, and still work toward them! But I don’t hold it against myself or others, if things don’t work out just so…that’s the part that has changed. Although I’m not one to confront, in my younger days I was much more judgmental and was quite sure I had the answers! Thank goodness that girl/woman is gone! This version of me has few answers, but a lot more graciousness. I learned that if I can’t answer all the questions in my own life, how can I possibly know what others should be doing?! So now I sleep a lot better!
        Checked out Kathy’s post. She’s funny! I love writers who find a way to say something with humor! Thanks for sharing…Sheila

      • Kathy is a great blogger –
        I do not think we are giving up our ideals – we are just making them work by being more accepting

  8. I know that each and every one of us is already perfect, because being an expression of perfection we cannot be anything else. Perfection, in my world, is not anything to achieve or to strive for, it is simply (not easily) to be acknowledged. In acknowledging perfection, I can then play at creating endless expressions of that, sometimes more successfully than others, always perfect.

    Heading over to Kathy’s – thanks! xoxoM

    • very profound – I love the way people have found such a wonderful way of looking at life and how to deal with it– it sounds like you have met with success on an ongoing basis – lot of food for thought here

      • It’s a practice, LouAnn. Eternal. No beginning, no end. Just right now – and right now: success! 😉 xoxoM

      • 8 – lay this down and we have no beginning and no end–just connectiveness

      • Yes!!! xoxoM

  9. I admit, I am one of those damned perfectionist women. I am less so as I age, so here’s to living to 100! Thanks for the reminder oh great women!

    • It is not easy being a perfectionist – I would have to live to 200–as I am slowly creeping up on 100 and do not think I will learn enough in 40 years to achieve perfection (okay I am practicing here coming up on my 60th birthday–ouch that hurt to admit–but I am going to have to get used to it)

      • I am turning 64 in March, and continue to push my bod into projects I flew through only a decade ago. At least I have Medicare to look forward to! And perhaps I can convince the house and yard to slow down too! Happy 60th!

      • oh, thank you – you give me hope as you are such a busy girl – we will just keep pushing our young selves

      • I am now following your blog for continued inspiration!

      • Welcome aboard — I believe I have been following you for awhile — we shall complement each other

  10. Agree there’s no “perfection” on this earth. but still we look for it (definitions about life, inspirational messages, easy answers)

    • There are no easy answers–if there were, I would have found them by now 🙂

      • The searching is one of our imperfections – and also one of our most enjoyable pasttimes.

  11. LOVE this post–& I needed it today! Thanks for the reminder. Now to roll up my sleeves and make a few messes today! 🙂

    • Thank you — it is the gift that keeps on giving — Kathy gave it first-then I regifted it–and you were the next in line– btw– messes are good

  12. Thanks LouAnn, I needed this. I am a oerfectionist by nature and sometimes I need this reminder that I need to stop trying to get it right every time. I need to relax and enjoy everything more and not get so stressed out!

    • I am glad this helped – it helped me too — relax and enjoy your little vacation and leave behind your stresses

  13. “you cannot get it right, so you cannot get it wrong” so powerful. ❤

  14. I was a tried and true perfectionist. If I couldn’t do it perfectly I wouldn’t do it at all. Then one day I realized I was missing out. So what if I look ridiculous trying to swim (I have zero buoyancy) if I was enjoying myself. Perfectionism led me to fear, fear that I wouldn’t measure up or look stupid. But learning to laugh at myself made life so much more fun.

  15. There is perfection in imperfection my friend, because without it, we would be very flawed human beings indeed 🙂

    Choc Chip Uru

  16. As I always say (I may have even said it here before), “It’s not the mistakes you make, but how you recover from them.”

    • sums it up pretty well for me–you are wise woman Robin and you have a sense of humour too — what more could I ask for in a friend?

      • What a sweet thing for you to say. Right back atcha!

      • aw shucks!

  17. Forgetting perfection and embracing our messes? I have a very blissful house and life so! I love this post. So true.

    • our messes are where we get our creativity from — when my house is too clean, or my life on track, I feel like something is missing (have not felt this way in a long time-lol)

  18. You know my ideas about perfection! Thank you for reminding me once again!

  19. Ditto what Brigitte said. Us perfectionists (I should probably remove the word from my blog’s tagline…) need this sort of kick in the pants every now and then to remind us that it’s okay to mess up. I’m learning just to go more with the flow now and not freak out when things don’t go exactly the way I planned.

    • I am decades older than you and I am still trying to come to terms with this – you are ahead of the game my friend

  20. In my younger days I was a ‘perfectionist’ type of personality and woe to me when things weren’t perfect… Thankfully I have learned as you say and your blogging friend said…it’s okay to ‘mess’ up and just keep on trying…Diane

    • it took (and takes) us all a while to successfully come to this conclusion

  21. […] learned from LouAnn that you can find bliss in embracing all your messes, and that you don’t really have to achieve perfection in order to be completely happy with […]

  22. […] Bliss is Forgetting Perfection and Embracing Our Messes ( […]

  23. […] Bliss is Forgetting Perfection and Embracing Our Messes ( […]

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