Where Is The Bliss In That?


[Denial] (Photo credit: Shovelling Son)

Write you own eulogy is the WordPress daily prompt today. And to that I say, bah humbug! Where is the bliss in that? Of course I want to be remembered but I am not ready to take my leave just yet.

I stick firmly to the premise that I am middle-aged even though if I am really middle-aged the researchers had better come up with something that keeps us living well past 100 with our minds intact and not too many aches and pains.

A friend of mine asked me yesterday how I am going to celebrate my birthday this year as it is one of the milestone birthdays that end in a 0. It is also a milestone for other reasons, but I am so in denial about that.

I do not read magazines that are aimed at Boomers or Zoomers or whatever they are called these days. They look like perfectly good and innocent magazines, but I am not ready yet. I have not achieved all I want to achieve.ย  I have not been there, nor done enough of that to warrant reading a magazine for people who have reached a modicum of success. (Debbie, if you are reading this–I read all the other mags you give me and John reads Zoomer).

Crazy Woman Creek

Crazy Woman Creek (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Am I in denial?


Am I going to write my eulogy?

Absolutely not (though I read those of others who took up the challenge and they were wonderfulโ€”they are obviously more mature than I, or took the exercise as a challenge and not an affront.)

I read the following quote on Redmontfamily.com, and though it does not totally mirror my attitude, I do like the fact that I have supposedly reached the age of discretion and discernment–the discarding part is still to come, as are the expensive toys:

“Welcome to an age of discretion, discernment and discarding of outmoded ideas.
Being over 40 doesn’t mean being over the hill.
Rather it means that you’ve climbed further up the mountain.
So your view of life is more expansive,
the knowledge gained is more extensive,
and your toys are more expensive.”

Are you in denial or more mature than I and made peace with your age? (Actually it is not my age I mind, it is the labels and expectations that go with it.)

Published in: on January 25, 2013 at 4:14 pm  Comments (64)  
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  1. Totally in denial, I plan never to ‘grow up’ or ‘mature’ … ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. In Ohio, when we turn 60 (which I have) you receive a Golden Buckeye Card which gets you various discounts…. so I think of myself as Golden! That’s a precious metal , you know… worth a lot. I expect out of myself what I have always expected out of myself… doesn’t matter what my age is…. I will know when it’s time to hang it all up! Not yet! I am inspired 3 days per week my my water aerobics buddies …. one is 91 years old and never misses a swim. I don’t want to write my own eulogy, but I have thought about planning my own funeral. My friend’s mother recorded herself playing all of her favorite hymns on the piano… she played all the mustic for her own funeral. I think that’s kind of cool.

    • cool-but it would make me so sad–my dad was in a band and we played a recording of his at his funeral and it was wonderful and sad at the same time
      Gold is precious and that is how I should look at it

  3. I am still growing up..music and mayhem that is me…heehee!

  4. I have nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. You can find this link at:

    • that is so funny, I was just reading you and saw my name–thanks so much for the honour–I wrote more on your blog

      • Haha. You earned it! You are one my my all-time favs!!

      • we Canadians have to stick together

  5. I am not in denial, I just simply can’t remember how old I am most of the time.

  6. I’m in total denial. In my mind I’m probably 18 or 19. It always comes as a shock to me when my body won’t bend a certain way or do what I want it to. I had a full blown anxiety attack on my 50th birthday – that should tell you everything.

    I’ve read enough near-death experiences to know that when we cross over, so to speak, our bodies are restored to their most perfect state. We don’t have aches and pains, wear glasses or feel self-conscious. We’re full of light, young, healthy and “beautiful” in the heavenly sense of the word.
    So now that I’m 50, and I have this knowledge, I’m actually looking forward to trading in this old sack of potatoes for what will be my new state of the art body. Okay, that’s a bit of a stretch but at least it gives me something to look forward to. (I’m also excited to see my dog and cats ๐Ÿ™‚

    I like what Ruth’s friend’s mother did. That’s very cool. I wouldn’t mind picking out the music – that sounds like a good idea.

    Lest you think I’m superficial, I do see all of us as spirits having a human experience. It’s that spiritual connection that has meant everything to me during my lifetime. I wouldn’t go back in time if I had to re-learn what I know today. Having a little wisdom and being able to see things in their proper perspective makes life so rich.

    • what a wonderful response – now I have something to look forward to also–I also like being where I am with the little wisdom I have picked up along the way–so I am a wise 19 year old (in Ontario you can drink when you are 19)

  7. When I was younger – there was a time where I wished that I was older. What was I thinking? LOL
    I don’t bother with any of the age stuff – it is what it is. And – ever since one of my brother’s passed away at the age of 25 – getting older is even more of a blessing each day.

  8. I’ve always been at peace with my age, LouAnn. This kind of perfection doesn’t happen overnight! ๐Ÿ˜‰ xoxoM

    • hey, now that is the way to look at it — time for an attitude change for me! ha ha

  9. That eulogy thing is a tad morbid if you ask me! I’m like Scarlett O’Hara when it comes to that: “I won’t think about that today, I’ll think about that tomorrow.” In my mind, I’m still very young. I still feel like the me I was back then, only with more experiences and things that once upset me, no longer do. I don’t ever want to grow up either so that means exploring, traveling, learning new things, enjoying fine food and wine — in moderation — and just learning to look at things with humor. I look forward to next decade and the next and the next and the next…you get the picture.

    And I like, really think, like your bliss post, is like really cool.

    I didn’t even speak that way when I was younger, not sure why I’m doing it now. I just heard some very young women at the gym using that word ad nauseum the other day. I had to leave before my head exploded.

    • Like man, appreciate your sudden coolness (?–ha ha). I consider myself an eternal student and like you do not want to grow up either – but that moderation thing–I practice it too–but once in awhile we gotta step outta the box (who am I channeling here?)
      I practice Scarlett’s motto too — out of necessity, but it really works!

  10. Dear Lou Ann, I have read hastily, today’s post. I have much more to say about what you wrote but I don’t have the time now. This I will write quickly about something that happened to me. I “lost” a friend of more than 50 years because I replied to one of her numerous emails about the cartoons and other age related articles she had been sending- “funnies” about old people. I asked her to stop the age thing. She took great offense and wrote me that “I celebrate my age.” I apologized to her profusely. She did not accepts my apology and wrote, “from now on I will not be in touch with you anymore.” Those words stung for a while and then I decided if she had really been one of my very best friends for all those years then she must not have been a good friend after all. The things that she had been emailing me were essentially making fun of old people. That to me is like making fun of the mentally or physically challenged. I don’t see much difference.

    I have been thinking of writing a post about that- seriously. How the Internet has become so personal yet impersonal. And about stupid things that are forwarded to people one knows or even vaguely knows.

    So more on this later.


  11. I don’t have the eulogy worked out, but I do want my headstone to say, “You should see the other guy!”

  12. I celebrated a birthday this week and certainly don’t feel as old as the number says I am! I had to ‘grow up’ at much too young of an age so I am now regressing and thoroughly enjoying it! Life is too short so I’m having as much fun and laughs as I can without hurting myself or anyone else. (Well, I’m sure I embarrass the heck out of my kids but they’re young and will survive my craziness just fine!) I don’t think I’m in denial. If anything I feel like I’m embracing my view from higher up on the mountain!

    • love your attitude — yes the altitude is just fine up here–I think I am further up the mountain than you but not over the proverbial hill

  13. Some days I embrace getting older with grace and truly feel content. Other days I curse the aches and pains, wrinkles, droopy everything, and a finicky memory. I think the memory thing is the most upsetting….. I should learn a new language or take up ballroom dancing, both are said to sharpen your memory.

    • the dancing would be my choice as I find languages a real challenge–although getting the message from my brain to my feet to do “real” dances is also a challenge–alas and alack!

      I am content and graceful in my denial

  14. I’ve made peace with my age but then I’m way past you and I don’t have a choice…lol Diane

    • we all have a choice–you can be in denial like I am, and not look in the mirror–the mirror reminds me I am in denial

      • Oh I’ve looked in the mirror…in fact I wrote a post because one day I did…and said ‘Woman, who are you’? Inside I still think I’m wayyy younger but then realization comes in that I’m not …but I’ve come to accept this different stage in my life….Diane

  15. Age means nothing!! It is how you act and feel that counts. I still feel like I did when I was 18, and a lot of times I act like I did when I was 10 :). For you my friend, I’m sure your sense of humour will keep you young forever!

    • aw shucks! I too feel like I am 18 only a little bit smarter (not a lot though)

  16. I understand – it has taken me awhile, but I am now okay with being my age.

  17. At the risk of causing a collective eye roll from people, I’m still at a point where I kind of want to be older….. but for the most part, I like my age. I agree that the labels and assumptions that come with each age bracket are just annoying and really hinder us from making great connections with people. Luckily with things like blogging, age takes a backseat and we can all be friends regardless of whether we’re 20 or 60.

    • you are so right–it kind of blurs the lines and we get to know each other–I too, wanted to be older at one time–I have always looked young for my age and still do to a point

  18. I’ve always felt a sense of achievement about having got to all the ages I have – 30 was brill, 40 even better, 50 even better, 60 just as good, 70 no different, and 75 is just a few months away. I don’t think of myself as elderly… that may happen when I’m 80…
    I’m always changing my mind about what music I’ll have at my funeral, but whenever it is, I’m planning to be there to hear it !!!

    • I do not think of 75 as elderly–I have a couple of aunts who are 94 and 96 and they are not elderly at all in their outlooks.
      So 80 is not elderly either–we do not need labels–we just need to be ourselves!

      • That is so right! Be ourselves and celebrate ourselves and each other . All the best to both of you ๐Ÿ™‚

  19. I’m not sure I’m in denial about my age. I’m turning 39 in a few months. I just forget that I’m getting older and I’m not in my 20s anymore. I don’t feel like I should be an adult. I remember freaking out before my 30th and then on that day I thought, “Well I don’t feel different at all.” Since then I don’t care that the years are adding up. I don’t feel them, unless you count the sore back, tired legs, and I need more sleep. But that’s been there for years.

    • yes 30 was a hump–but as you say if you forget about your age you can just toddle along happily (except those aches and pains–but I am still in fairly good shape). I will not tell you how many years I have been 39!

  20. i am what I am.. 52 and just enjoying the ride.. i will write no eulogy because i hope my actions will speak louder than words ๐Ÿ™‚

  21. You mean we are all going to die? The injustice of it all.

    • yeah, how blissful is that?

    • on my Saturday post I used your name in the tags–for some reason you garnered me a lot of readers when I tagged you in our party posts–so I thought I would try it again–do not be surprised if I continue to do this (ha ha)

      • You mentioned me today? I’ll go have a look. Thank you. Feel free to name drop anytime.

      • in the tags-like Nike

      • Ah. I just asked you about it on your baked bean post. Yup . . . me and Nike rake in the blog hits.

  22. I spent all of last year in denial dreading turning 60 then when it finally happened, I discovered that it wasn’t really a big deal at all! So silly!

  23. I can’t say I am in denial, my body won’t let me!! I like what you wrote” Actually it is not my age I mind, it is the labels and expectations that go with it. ” Age never bothered me, I am the same as I was at age 20, just a bit more worn but also mature in my faith and still love to have fun!

    • could not agree with you more – it is not age that bothers me it is the labels

  24. I , like Patty, would love to be in denial but increasingly my body reminds me! I love life and living and intend to follow this:

    โ€œLife should NOT be a journey to the grave with the
    intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well
    preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways,
    chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body
    thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming
    โ€œWOO HOO what a ride!โ€

    I don’t know where it comes from but a friend sent it to me and I thought, ‘YES!’

    I understand why you don’t want to write your eulogy but do read the poem I posted yesterday and please write your own version as I have done.

    All the best ๐Ÿ™‚

    • love that — that is exactly how we should live and I will check out your poem–talk to you later at your site

  25. First, I love the quote! And I think it’s true, at least for me and my husband. We are both early 50s, and I think this past few years has really been a time of growth for us. We have freedom now we didn’t have when we were younger (kids are grown) and we have money to do a lot more now…travel and helping family in various ways. So I think we are further up the mountain, and in general, I love the view.

    I’ll also be honest to say that I’m somewhat in denial. I don’t like the stereotypes and the jokes…I actually feel quite youthful, and very energetic. I don’t want to be labeled just because I’m in this decade of life! But I also know I’m not my daughter’s age…don’t want to be the sad woman who thinks she’s pulling off 35 when she’s really 20 years older! Hard to find the balance, isn’t it?! But I agree…not ready to write my obit! ~ Sheila

    • Like you I am not trying to pull of 35, but I so do not like the labels. This was a really thoughtful comment and makes me feel better about being where I am right now.

  26. Just read another blogger’s eulogy and was quite fascinated by it. Would have loved to read yours, but I understand your reluctance. I think I’m pretty much OK with being 55. Except for some of the aches and pains that have accompanied the aging.

    • some of the other bloggers took it in an entirely different vein than I did and did a beautiful job

  27. […] Where Is The Bliss In That? (onthehomefrontandbeyond.wordpress.com) […]

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