Three Stories

I was inspired by rich, of Brainsnorts, who turns out little pieces of wonderful creativity every Friday in 100 words–so I tried an experiment when I had to get away from the book work which has engulfed me this week. It was fun, and I needed a little fun. Be kind in your critique and remember my mind has been taken over by facts and figures, numbers and……

Surprise 1

A full moon spotted the weary traveller on the bare, shiny road. He pushed the button on his umbrella and it collapsed. He used it as a guide, its quick clicks cut the night silence.

A figure approached, her shadow enveloped him. No words were exchanged. She took his hand and led him up the stairs. Putting her fingers to her lips, she silently hushed him.

Nodding he followed her. She knocked a staccato message on the door. It opened, but no light escaped the room. She beckoned. He hesitated, then “Happy Birthday” poured out in loud, happy unison.

Surprise 2

Brandishing the black 45, he twirled it expertly on one finger, then returned it to its holster. He turned his back and walked away. Was it over before it started?

Bewildered, the town’s people started to disperse. A shot rang out. It hit him in the back, not quite dead centre.

He fell to the ground. The crowd froze.  Engulfed in a pond of blood, he did not call out for help.  A kid with a limp stumped over to him calling for Doc Howard. Someone ran to the Doc’s office. He tripped on a step and fell.


Surprise 3

She knew she was a good dancer. She knew he was watching. Her feet turned to lead. Her once graceful moves turned robotic. She could no longer keep the beat. Her face turned pink, then red—then she blanched.

He turned away. She saw him turn; she left the dance floor. In the washroom she flooded her face with cold water, not caring that it washed off her makeup and made her eyeliner run. She hunched her shoulders in defeat, wiped off the black streaks. The night was over.

He was outside the door. Waiting for her. She took his proffered hand.

Published in: on November 30, 2012 at 5:07 pm  Comments (55)  
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55 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. OOOO I loved them!

  2. If this is what working with numbers does to your brain, LouAnn, then for heaven sake, keep doing it! I loved them all. Excellent story telling.

    • Thank you so much — I saw that you had visited, so I went over to your blog (this is called avoidance) and you are one great writer–smart, philosophical, witty and a just a bit naughty–love your writing–
      hope things are going okay – email me if you would like (hugs)

  3. These are great. it looks like your creativity needed to rear it’s head after all those numbers, I’m glad you shared.

    • thank you – I can’t wait to read your November wind up post–but I have to wait and reward my self later

      • Don’t worry, it’s not going anywhere 🙂

  4. LouAnn, these are great surprises at the end. Nice idea to get yourself away from figures, where life gets narrowed into one fine point.

  5. You have a gift. Wonderful stuff. I will be thinking about these stories and extending them out in my mind as I paint trim this afternoon.

    • glad I gave your imagination a workout–thank you –and good luck with your trim

  6. They were so intense my friend fantastic job 😀

    Choc Chip Uru

  7. These are great. So evocative.

  8. Surprise #3 was a lovely surprise. It left me with something to think about.

  9. Those were really good! I could picture them all clearly in my head, especially the second one. I love twists like that. 😀

  10. A nice break away for you & three wonderful surprises for us! 🙂

  11. Great stories, loved all three.

  12. Fantastic stories – it’s so hard to paint such a vivid picture in so few words! Wonderful stuff 😉

  13. You are definitely the storyteller LouAnn. I loved all of them. 🙂

  14. What fun – love these microstories!

  15. Are you ready for surprise no.4? These are all good. In fact dang good. I hope that you were excited to read all of the positive responses.

    • it certainly made my day yesterday, and my night, and my day today –thank you 🙂

  16. They were really good….Diane

  17. This was brilliant! I really liked the twists in the end, especially #2. I did a “oh no he died!” exclamation before I exhaled in relief. See what you did in only 100 words? Great stuff. 🙂

  18. I adore being fooled. Especially when I dig right into something that takes me right there. Great fun and thanks, LouAnn, for good writing.

  19. I love good writing. It’s so satisfying to read!

    • what a compliment (it was directed at me wasn’t it?) thank you – LouAnn

  20. I liked these, especially Surprise 3. That’s really touching Neat.

    BTW did you ever get to read The world’s shortest murder story over on my blog? Might amuse you if you haven’t already perused, but you’ll need to search for it

    • I will do that–I am intrigued–number three was close to my heart

      • It reads like it, too. Well done

      • I have been looking –give me a hint–what month and what is the title? by the way–as I have been perusing I have been enjoying your blog–I found you not too long ago

      • Here’s the link you need
        Glad you’re enjoying the peruse

  21. These were great! Loved reading them this morning over my coffee. Very well done. I love the challenge of writing more with less words.

    • there is a lot of editing and deleting–but it is fun–writing more with less–I like that philosophy

      • I hear you, lots of editing. it’s something I try to stick with the most when I write, skip the unnecessary words and trim it down–get to the point for the reader’s sake.

  22. I echo the others here, well done.. It’s fun to just write out of the norm and you will be pleasantly surprised what comes from the pen (or keyboard).. Loved these!

  23. Enjoyed reading your three micro-fictions. I like the little twists at the end. I like writing micro-fiction stories too and recently entered some in a short and twisted writing competition.

  24. Great job! I love Rich at Brainsnorts as well! 🙂

  25. You can really say a lot in 100 words. Loved them.

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