Note: While I will not be writing any original posts this week–I thought I would “post” (sounds like I am mailing this to you) my weekly column that will be appearing in the Kingsville Reporter this week. So hot off the presses, I present this to you: ( now must get my nose back to the grindstone–I hear the sound of a cracking whip–better go~)
“Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens; Bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings ; These are a few of my favourite things.”
I know I do not have Oprah’s status (and money and fame and success) but I do have some favourite things. She does not have the corner on this (although she could afford to buy that corner).
Her favourite things include an Easy Rider electric bike with an ugly lime green helmet; $198 cotton knit cable sweater; some spa products she discovered at David Copperfield’s (when I was at David’s I was not that impressed with them); a $395 pink leather bag from the Tory Burch store, which she saw and just had to have as “she was strolling down Madison Avenue” (I am holding out for a Burkin bag); some soap that only costs $238 for 14 bars, which she gave to Mr. and Mrs. Stephen Colbert; a mattress for $2,699 (which she now has in every bedroom of her house—which means her mattresses are probably worth more than my house); an elliptical cross trainer that was originally $3,099 and is only $2,789 with a coupon; and the piece de resistance, and the only thing I can afford from her list of 95 favourite things is a blue velvet cake with cream cheese icing and sugar snowflakes. At $42, I could think about it.
I am going to be upfront: my favourite things do not include things such “as raindrops on roses, or whiskers on kittens”. I am a bit less, shall we say, whimsical than that. I mentioned the Birkin bag, which is, according to Wik E. Pedia, “a handbag by Hermès, handmade in leather and named after (British) actress and singer Jane Birkin.” It is “a symbol of wealth due to its high price and elusiveness to the public.” Its price range? $9000 to $150,000. Costs apparently “escalate according to the type of materials.” They are fashioned “on unpredictable schedules and in limited quantities” to create scarcity and exclusivity. I am sure Oprah has a few of these, but was afraid to include them in her favourite things as they are out of reach of everyone but the 2% (or is it 1%?). I am including it because I plan on the winning the lottery. Soon. The big one. (Did you know that people who think they are going to win the lottery do not have their feet planted securely on terra firma?)
I have no argument with Oprah–she chooses a bunch of lovely stuff, then proceeds to give it away to some lucky people—I have not yet figured out how to be one of those lucky people, so I have created a list of my favourite things. Much more modest than Oprah’s, it consists of:
1. Anything that sparkles—I think I was a magpie in another life. Sparkly things have a wide range in price—I am not too choosy unless it is gaudy. Now, gaudy does not include an 8 carat yellow diamond (in case you were wondering).
2. Books—all kinds—books you can write in, books you can read for enjoyment, books you can learn from (as long as I am not being tested—went to school for about a hundred years—no more tests!); books with pretty pictures, kids’ books—okay, I think you are getting the idea here.
3. Boy boots. Seriously an odd choice I know. But, my husband who looks out for me and loves, loves, loves Canadian Tire saw a pair of women’s boots (that look like men’s boots) on sale for 60% off. They have laces and felt liners, and big treads on the bottom (I am prone to falling down, hence earning the name grace). Now, they look clunky but are kind of gold in colour (almost sparkly) with black rubber toes. So, my feet will not get wet and stay warm and toasty in the winter to come. So, my boots, while they are not sleek and leather and fashionable, are my new favourite thing.
Oh, and I do like surprises as in “brown paper packages tied up with strings” but you can keep the raindrops and whiskers (sorry Kitty Bob), and bright copper kettles. The mittens though would go with my new almost sparkly “boy boots”.