~ A Kinder, Gentler Halloween ~

Cover of "Happy Halloween! (Festive Peanu...

Cover of Happy Halloween! (Festive Peanuts)

 I understand that Halloween is going to be limited and rescheduled in some areas. To all those who had to survive the terrible Frankenstorm, my heart goes out to you. The pictures on television show such devastation. I hope some of these quotes and jokes help lighten your day a bit. To everyone else: Happy Halloween! And to those of you caught up in the mess of the storm: Double Happy Halloween!

In light of  my penchant for a non-scary Halloween, I typed in “cheery Halloween quotes” and Googled it. This is what I came up with—a few funny quotes and moan worthy jokes. So if you are like me, and not fond of the dark side—read on. If you do like the dark side, well just consider the following an expansion of your horizons into another kinder, gentler universe:

“I’ll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.” – Unknown Author

“There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin.” – Linus from ‘It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown’

“Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn’t even the star of his own Halloween special.” – Chris Rock

“Nothing on Earth is so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night.” – Steve Almond

“On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.” – Rodney Dangerfield

A few jokes the website terms as funny follow—you be the judge:

Q. What do the skeletons say before eating?

A. Bone appetit!

Q. What happens when two vampires meet?

A. It was love at first bite!

Q. What’s a Vampire’s least favourite song?(this is my favourite one)

A. Another one bites the dust!

Q. Why was the mummy so tense?

A. Because he was all wound up.

Q. Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie?

A. He didn’t have the guts.

Share these with your kids–they will think you are so clever.

Do you have a Halloween joke or two  or funny memory you would like to share?

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51 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Great jokes and I echo your sentiments for storm victims.

    • thanks Julie–do you have treats for your birds and Ming? I sent my youngest son at college a Halloween treat in a card–it was a chocolate ghost with a pumpkin. He said it broke but it still tasted good.

      • We don’t do Halloween here. I am not sure why.

      • cause you are smart!

      • No way!

  2. What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?

    Ice Scream. 🙂

    I found myself grumbling over the weather report of rain, rain, rain for our trick or treating tonight and then stopped myself short when I thought of those on the East Coast.

    • it puts it in perspective doen’t it – wish we did not have to put it in persepctive – love your joke – thanks for getting in the “spirit”

  3. Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the prom?

    A: He didn’t have any body to dance with.

    Happy Halloween to you too!

  4. Why can ghosts never lie?
    Because you can see right through them!
    LOL 🙂 Happy Halloween!!

  5. Hey- I thought this is a really nice post. I looooved the jokes and those that readers sent as well. All are too clever. As one that does not care for Halloween, I found the jokes a good thing. I have never been fond of Halloween- guess I am just a stick in the mud as we say in Texas or perhaps elsewhere as well.

    I addition: my heart goes out to all of the people and animals that were and are probably still reeling from the effects of that devastating storm. I pray that the government steps in real soon to help.


    • I hope so too–and I am sure you are happy that so many of the newscasts mentioned saving the animals too and not leaving them behind

      I am not a huge fan of Halloween–I like warm and fuzzy little kid Halloween

  6. I appreciate your efforts at trying to make this holiday palatable. 🙂 I’m going to the movies.

  7. Here are my contributions (be warned, they are beyond corny)
    What do you call a fat Jack-O-Lantern? A plumpkin.
    What’s a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist

    Happy Halloween!!

    • ha ha — thank you for playing along–I love it but then again I love corny –love the poulty-geist!

  8. Love the comments! Particularly liked the Rodney Dangerfield one and the one about Halloween and nudist colonies!

  9. I enjoyed the jokes! Never heard the nudist colony one before. What a great idea to post jokes today for anyone able to get online. A chuckle can help put a smile, even for a few minutes will be helpful for those who have lost so much.

    • I so hope so–I just cannot imagine what some of these people are going through!

  10. Hi there. Happy Halloween!

  11. What is a ghost with a broken leg? A Hoblin Goblin. Heard that one on the news this morning.

  12. Haha toning down the scary – too cute 🙂

    Choc Chip Uru

  13. I especially love all things “Charlie Browniest”!!

  14. What did the skeleton say on a blustery March day?
    “This wind goes right through me!”

  15. All good ones!! 🙂

  16. My kids will love these! M’s current fav is, What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur? Doyouthinkhesaurus. What do you call his dog? Doyouthinkhesaurus Rex.

    • ha ha ha – good one, I mean two – Happy Halloween and good night – am going to bed early to read

  17. Great timing on this post as I’m in sore need of some laughs (no matter how cheesy they might be). I actually did laugh at the mummy joke so thanks for sharing! I like to go for the warmer, less spooky side of Halloween as well. 🙂

  18. I loved watching Halloween specials & still do.
    I even watched It’s a Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown today! Yep – over 40 & still watching Charlie Brown 🙂

    • I watched part of it and we won’t tell you what I am over

      • LOL 😉

  19. The quotes and jokes are great. Happy Halloween!

  20. I feel the same way…no scary stuff for me! Cute and childlike is my preference for Halloween! Fun quotes and jokes! ~ Sheila

  21. I’ve had a great time reading through these! What a wonderful post 😀

  22. You’re so kind. I’m a much meaner, rougher spirit on All Hallow’s Eve….

  23. I thought the last two were the best.

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