~ Scary? ~

This is a film my son  made for a film competition at  college for Halloween.  He won the competition. As his proud mother I am sharing it with you. I really had to talk him into letting me put this on my blog, but he finally acquiesced.

The judging for the competition was not over until after Halloween, hence you are seeing it in November. November can be scary too.

This is the same son that I posted a picture of a couple of days ago when he was six. He is now 21. I thought it was funny. If you do not think it is funny, do not tell me. Any accolades will be gladly accepted.

Without further ado–I present the next Spielberg, or George Clooney, or Godzilla–you decide:

Published in: on November 7, 2012 at 5:35 pm  Comments (30)  
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~ Grave Concerns ~

Coat of arms of the town of Kingsville, Ontario.

Coat of arms of the town of Kingsville, Ontario. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I know that many of you have never been to a municipal council meeting in your lives. Well, truly you have not lived until you have attended one. As I am a “municipal reporter” (sounds so official doesn’t it?) I have attended hundreds of these meetings over the years. They tend to run 3 1/2 to 4 hours now, as they have been cut from three meetings a month to two in my town of Kingsville.

Admittedly, a lot of the things I report on are rather mundane, but not particularly mundane to those affected by the story–be it about drains, sewers, a new subdivision, business development, or neighbours really mad at other neighbours for building a fence that blocks their view of the lake.

This being Halloween week got the best of me and I just could not stop myself from trying to zip up a news story about weeds in the local cemetery–and it was published on the front page of the Kingsville Reporter! Without further ado, here is me having a little fun with the story:

Weeds (TV series)

Weeds (TV series) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)NO, NOT THIS KIND OF WEED!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Council Wants Weeds Controlled at Greenhill

Weed control at Greenhill Cemetery is a topic of grave concern to Kingsville Council and a report presented by the Manager of Public Works…at the October 22nd meeting did not provide them with a satisfactory solution.”

Now if you did not catch it–I said that the topic at the cemetery was of “grave concern”. Truly, I am easily amused.

Have you ever written something you knew was silly in an otherwise sombre story?

~ A Kinder, Gentler Halloween ~

Cover of "Happy Halloween! (Festive Peanu...

Cover of Happy Halloween! (Festive Peanuts)

 I understand that Halloween is going to be limited and rescheduled in some areas. To all those who had to survive the terrible Frankenstorm, my heart goes out to you. The pictures on television show such devastation. I hope some of these quotes and jokes help lighten your day a bit. To everyone else: Happy Halloween! And to those of you caught up in the mess of the storm: Double Happy Halloween!

In light of  my penchant for a non-scary Halloween, I typed in “cheery Halloween quotes” and Googled it. This is what I came up with—a few funny quotes and moan worthy jokes. So if you are like me, and not fond of the dark side—read on. If you do like the dark side, well just consider the following an expansion of your horizons into another kinder, gentler universe:

“I’ll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.” – Unknown Author

“There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin.” – Linus from ‘It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown’

“Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn’t even the star of his own Halloween special.” – Chris Rock

“Nothing on Earth is so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night.” – Steve Almond

“On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.” – Rodney Dangerfield

A few jokes the website terms as funny follow—you be the judge:

Q. What do the skeletons say before eating?

A. Bone appetit!

Q. What happens when two vampires meet?

A. It was love at first bite!

Q. What’s a Vampire’s least favourite song?(this is my favourite one)

A. Another one bites the dust!

Q. Why was the mummy so tense?

A. Because he was all wound up.

Q. Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie?

A. He didn’t have the guts.

Share these with your kids–they will think you are so clever.

Do you have a Halloween joke or two  or funny memory you would like to share?

~ Devil’s Night ~

Ghost below the Sunset?

Ghost below the Sunset? (Photo credit: Scott M Duncan)

 

 

Cold and wet and rain

Wind, windier, windiest

Perfect devil’s eve

Published in: on October 30, 2012 at 11:50 pm  Comments (25)  
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~ Never Ask Me: How Are You? ~

English: Cute coffee.

Cute coffee. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This is from my weekly newspaper column–I talk to my readers like they are my friends. I hope some of them are:

My sister Peggy and I try to email each other every day. She lives in Ottawa, so we do not have the luxury of face to face visits often. Sometimes I do not have much to say—but today this is how I opened my little tirade to her (she made the mistake of asking how I was):

“Well, (you can always tell something did not go well, when you start a sentence out with ‘well’) yesterday started off with a bang, or should I say crash—I broke the carafe for the coffee maker, so made coffee by putting a cup where the carafe should go and then pressing up on the spigot thing to get the coffee to come out. That was some fun! Until I got the hang of it I had hot coffee coming up the handle of the knife I was using to press the spigot up. (I now have first degree burns on my right hand). So I went out and bought another coffee maker and started getting it ready to make coffee (this morning), and it did not have all the parts it was supposed to have–so I tried putting it back in its packaging, and of course it does not go back into what it just came out of.

So….I will be taking the darn thing back to the store the way it is and they can deal with it.  I just finished making two cups of coffee using my rather flawed method again today–but used a spoon this time. The coffee ran up the handle of the spoon a bit, but since I am getting better at this, not as much as yesterday. Oh, yeah, and the coffee tastes like sweet dishwater.”

That is how my day began–has to get better from here, right? Just a minute, I need another sip of coffee—yep, warm dishwater (or what I imagine warm dishwater with sugar would taste like).

It is Monday morning as I write this and no, it is not going to be a diatribe about how awful I think Mondays are. I like Mondays. It is the day I usually write up this column and I do look forward to writing another piece of weekly literature. Then I just have to make do with what I really produce, and though it isn’t literature, it does fill up my space on page five.

I am surprised though at how important that first cup of coffee is to me in the morning. I did not even drink coffee until I was in my thirties—before that my caffeine fix was in the form of tea or cola (yes, at one time I did drink cola with my morning bagel and cream cheese or bacon and eggs—try it, it really complements the food).

I am trying to become a tea drinker again for one reason and one reason only: I do not put sugar in my tea. I put a lot of sugar in my coffee—as I do not think I really like its taste—the aroma is good, but the taste without a pile of sugar is too bitter. I so admire those who drink it black (gag, ugh) or with just a little cream (just gag).

Today, I am writing this up without the benefit of a good cup of hot sweet liquid (good being the operative word here)—but I am persevering—I am made of good stock.

~ Ghoulies and Ghosties ~ And Don’t Forget the Long-Legged Beasties ~

It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (Photo credit: Wikipedia) “There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin.” ~ Linus

This is me trying to lighten up a bit. I am reposting this from last October. As I have explained before, when I posted this the first time I had about five people following me so it did not get much exposure. It is timely as it is about Halloween. This is an edited version of October 2011′s post — if you want to read the whole thing–you can go back in the archives.

“A house is never still in darkness to those who listen intently; there is a whispering in distant chambers, an unearthly hand presses the *snib of the window, the latch rises. Ghosts were created when the first man awoke in the night.” ~ J. M. Barrie

Author of Peter Pan, J.M. Barrie is the originator of the words above, which serve as an eerie prelude to this season of Halloween. Many find the dark quiet and comforting, a respite from the busyness of the daylight hours. But at this time of year, we tend to pause and wonder, maybe for just a moment, whether  ghoulies and ghosties and things that go bump in the night are getting restless.

Are there ghosts? I am not prepared to deny their existence. If they are like Casper then all is well, but as for some of his green tinged ghastly cohorts and diaphanous friends the colour of fog, I am not so sure.

Kingsville (my home town in Ontario) famously has a ghost by the name of George, who resides at Kings Landing, a restaurant which overlooks Lake Erie. By all accounts, he is mischievous but never hurtful or threatening. From my cursory research, his existence is known only through phantom footsteps and flickering lights. Apparently he is shy and has never shown his gossamer self, though his habit of  turning taps on and lights off is his least appealing trait.

I have adopted the “warm and fuzzy school of Halloween”; my stance on the scarier side of the celebration is to ignore it. I love the little princesses and frogs that come to my door, and the boys and girls dressed as their favourite heroines and heroes—be they caped, crowned, or sparkly.

As for me and Halloween at my house, I may don my pretty witch’s hat decorated oh-so-delicately with veils, feathers, and black roses,  give out some candy, then turn my lights off at 8:00 sharp (even witches need to get their beauty sleep).

*If you are wondering, a snib is the catch that holds the bolt on a lock.

So are you a fan of scary Halloween or part of the warm and fuzzy Halloween brigade?

~ Halloween Revisited ~

English: Pumpkin carving - photo taken in dark...

Pumpkin carving – (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My favourite holiday is about to be served up next week, and in preparation I am trying to decide what kind of treats I will hand out to those oh-so-merry revellers at my door. Oh,… you say, it is not my favourite holiday? No carollers and hot chocolate and gingerbread cookies for a song well sung?

What’s that you say? It is my least favourite holiday—Halloween …when the veil between us and the “other” world is thinner and we are subject to visitations from ghoulies and ghosties and long-legged beasties, and things that go bump in the night?

But let me pause here. Perhaps it is I and those in my “not too crazy about Halloween” camp who need some reprogramming. Maybe, just maybe, we should embrace this festive time of year and turn our front yards into cemeteries and our trees into an executioner’s dream with a noose hanging perilously from every branch.

If so many people love Halloween, could we be the ones who need to change? There is a macabre element to Halloween that cannot be denied. But who are we to put a cap on our dark sides? Perhaps we need this day to get it out of our system, to face our fears, and laugh at them. Methinks we take it too seriously. We need to get with the program.

Out of curiosity, I “Googled” why some people do not like Halloween. One of the answers provided was that people who do not enjoy this holiday are lame. The verbatim answer was a little more insulting than that, but that is all I am going to share here. Other reasons given were religion and fear.

I have not always disliked Halloween and cannot really remember when my distaste for it started. Maybe it was the year that some older kids knocked over the jack o’lantern we had outside and almost burned our house down. (I am overstating here—but it did scare me—and we never put a lit jack o’lantern out on the front porch again—live and learn).  Or maybe it was the fact that when I was a kid we lived in the country and after visiting (in the dark with flashlights) the four houses close to us, Halloween was basically over, so it was not much to celebrate. One year though my Dad drove us all over the county – (actually only a few miles from home to houses that were more than a half mile away) and we made out like bandits. That year I liked Halloween.

So, this year, determined to recover from my Grinchy take on Halloween, I am going to make a list of twelve things I like about it as the first step in my recovery:

1. First and foremost, how bad can a festivity be if it features little chocolate bars?

2. I love little kids dressed up as dinosaurs with tails dragging behind them and fairies and Mario and Luigi and whatever else they want to dress up as.

3. I love that all my neighbours turn their front lights on for trick or treaters. It looks so welcoming.

4. I love it when little kids will only take one little chocolate bar when you offer them a bowl of candy and you have to talk them into taking more.

5. I love pumpkins.

Pumpkin Harvest

Pumpkin Harvest (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

6. I love pumpkins.

7. I love pumpkins.

8. I love Linus’s faith in the Great Pumpkin.

9. I love everyone else’s enthusiasm about Halloween.

10. I love pumpkins.

11. I love turning the front light out at eight o’clock figuring all the little kids have finished trick or treating, and the Halloween festivities are over for me for another year.

12. I love how my youngest son embraces the holiday, and starts to plan his costume months in advance.

Oh, and by the way, did I mention that I love pumpkins?

I am far from cured—but if the antidote is those little chocolate bars, I am willing to take a dose or two.  Wishing you all no tricks, just treats.

How about you–are you a diehard fan of Halloween or someone who is trying to embrace it like me?

Pumpkins at Halloween

Pumpkins at Halloween (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Published in: on October 22, 2012 at 10:02 pm  Comments (60)  
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Comforts ~ Day 13 Or What Is the Rush? ~

August 20 National Day 2012

August 20 National Day 2012 (Photo credit: HatM)

I don’t know about you, but I am getting tired of people telling me to live in the now, enjoy the present, don’t look back, don’t look too far ahead…you know the drill. But, what I am not sick of is the fact that they have a point.

It is August, it is still summer, yet our minds are jetting off to school, and thinking about Thanksgiving (after all in Canada it is in October, and early this year even for us) and Halloween. I am surprised the Christmas hullabaloo hasn’t started yet. It is only August 25th, people!  Let’s slow down, roll the clock back to today’s date and simmer down.

I have a friend who tried to buy some lawn chairs the other day and was told at the hardware store that they are now putting their winter stuff out. It is August for goodness sake—and in this area we could have warm weather for at least two more months. Last Thanksgiving I remember cooking a turkey on a day that reached temps in the 80’s (or high 20’s for those of us in Canada who think in Celsius—I still have to convert.)

Today I am going to be grateful for

1. The fact that we really have almost a month of summer left. It does not stop at Labour Day. Now summer is not my favourite time of year, and I admit I have been trying to rush summer along to get to my favourite season, but for now, I am going to stop, and live here, today, in August.

2. Not having to don a coat and mittens and boots to go out the door. Just put on a pair of flip flops and go!

3.  The fact that my AC has frozen up. This gives me even more of a chance to bask in this lovely season of summer.  (I am ironically grateful for this.)

So, what was this post about? Live in the now, enjoy the present, don’t look back, and don’t look too far ahead. (Here I am, being ironic again!)

Published in: on August 25, 2012 at 2:23 pm  Comments (42)  
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Trying Something New

Today, I thought I would post the first (partial) chapter of a book I have started in order to get your opinion. Is it worth pursuing? Do you like the characters? Am I giving away too much at the beginning? Would you consider reading something like this? I would appreciate any feedback I can get and/or suggestions. Of course I have ideas on how to move the plot forward, but if you have an idea or two that you would not mind sharing, I would love to hear it.

This is me being brave, showing this to my blog world, so be kind:

ALWAYS OCTOBER

She kicked at the pile of orange and butter yellow leaves. A professed lover of autumn, Sparrow was now sick of it.  If she never saw another pumpkin or corn-stalk or harvest moon again she would be….she would be what? How had she been stranded in a town that was forever October?

Eerie, bizarre, peculiar were all words that described the fact that when the calendar hit midnight on October 31st. and the trick or treaters were tucked in their beds, it was October 1st again.

The first time it happened was four months ago. Sparrow Burns had been on assignment in Nouveau Hartford, a town that had grown up half in Quebec and half in New Brunswick. She had been there to find out which province the citizens of the fair town aligned themselves with. Turns out about half were Quebecers and half were dyed-in-the-wool “Brunswicks”, as they called themselves. And of course the Quebecers only spoke French on their side of the border, and the good people of New Brunswick only spoke English on theirs. No big surprises there, which did not make for a very exciting story. But on her way back home the next morning, her car stalled as she entered a tiny town called Charings Hollow.

At first she had found the not quite a town, but bigger than a village Charings Hollow appealing. It was mid-October and the place looked like it was the set of a movie. A movie where the season of autumn took centre stage. Pumpkins were on every portico, and every door was guarded by stalks of corn and sheaves of wheat bound with wide ginger coloured ribbon.  Mums exploded from every garden, and the town was strewn with countless planters boasting only one colour—gold. She later found out that there were massive floral tributes to fall on every counter in every store, along with gourds and squash and multi-coloured Indian corn. The cool air of the town smelled of spice, but not one she recognized.

Every house except one within sight had a wreath featuring all the season had to offer, and of course the requisite pumpkins and corn and mums.  It was in front of this house her car stalled. She unlatched the hood to her emerald-green Spectrum and climbed out of the car, stiff from driving for hours without stopping.  She peered at the engine. Sparrow had no idea what she was looking for. The inside of the car’s motor was a mystery to her. Unless something was on fire, or a wire had sprung loose, she knew that her actions were futile. But she did know, that when a car stalled, you looked under the hood.

She took out her cell phone, but for some reason it was “out of range”. She threw it onto the front seat, and leaned against the car. When she saw the lace curtain move in the front window of the house, she decided to go to the door and ask for help. She knocked. No one came to the door. She then saw the doorbell, and rang it. No one came. As she turned to walk away, she heard a noise. The front door was open a crack and all she could see was one beady eye.

‘Hello?” she said

The door closed quietly. Then it opened again to reveal a tiny woman looking at her warily.

“Yes?”  asked the woman.

“My car stalled and I was wondering if you could tell me if there is a dealership or mechanic’s shop close by?”

“Two blocks up, turn right, and you’ll be at Turner’s. They should be able to help. Get your car fixed as fast as you can and then be on your way.’ she said curtly.

The unexpected warning raised the hair on the back of Sparrow’s neck.

“Why–do they roll up the sidewalk when it hits midnight?”

“You don’t know how close to right you are. Take my advice and get out of here as fast as you can. No good comes of staying here if you are a stranger.” The woman stepped back, about to close the door.

Sparrow thanked her for her ‘help’ and proceeded to walk the two blocks to Turners, thinking how beautiful the town was with its seasonal displays. She had seen Christmas transform towns, but never Fall. There were no Halloween decorations up at all. She soon learned that Halloween was a festival in its own right, and celebrated fanatically for the last three days of the month. The decorations became a bit more “spirited” at the end of the month.

At Turners, a young man came to the counter. Wiping his hands off on a rag from his back pocket, he put his right hand out. She shook it as he introduced himself as Sam…Samuel Turner.

“What can I do for you?” he asked. He acted familiar, almost like he was expecting her.

“My car stalled on Waverly, in front of the only house in town that is not decorated for autumn.” She had noticed the street sign as she turned onto Turner Street. Was it coincidental that the mechanic’s shop was named Turner, she wondered.

“I would take a look at it today, but I have to go get cleaned up for a funeral. My uncle died a couple of days ago.”  He shrugged his shoulders and said as if in explanation, “the whole town is going.” He pointed to an elderly gentleman, “ I can get Elmer over there to tow the car here though, and I’ll look at it tomorrow.”

Remembering what the gnome lady had warned her, Sparrow said, “That is too bad—is there anyone else who can look at it this afternoon?”

“Afraid not, I am the only mechanic in town. And even if there were others, the whole town is going to the funeral.”

Something seemed to be conspiring to make Sparrow stay overnight in this place, and she was uneasy about it. Something akin to suspicion began to niggle at her, but she set it aside, thinking she was just being silly.

“It seems I have no choice. Is there a bed and breakfast close by?”

Bed & Breakfast (2010 film)

Bed & Breakfast (2010 film) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

He laughed, “We are the town of bed and breakfasts. There is one on almost every corner,” Sam joked. My sister’s is right across the street. Her rates are good, and she is a great cook. Just don’t tell her I told you that though.”

Sparrow wondered if this seemingly  “gosh darn guy” was for real. He seemed nice. She noticed that the garage did not have the usual smell of oil and gas and grease, but an aromatic spiciness she could not quite put her finger on. By no means pungent, it was warm and fragrant, almost friendly.  She laughed to herself at describing a smell as friendly.

“Can I come over in the morning and see what you have found?” Sparrow asked.

“I should know something by 10. Want me to call Avis?”

Sparrow looked confused.

“My sister, Avis,” Norm said.

“Oh, yes, thank you.  I’ll just walk over. The yellow house with the porch?”

“That’s the one. I think she has a room or two.”

Sparrow walked over to the cozy looking house.  A sign above the door read “Turner’s Bed and Brunch”. As she walked up the steps, the door was flung open, and a voice said merrily,  “Hello,… Sam just called. Sorry you are having car trouble. He said the car should be at the garage in about a half an hour and you can get your luggage then. Can I show you to a room and make you some tea?”

Tea was not Sparrow’s first choice of beverage. A Scotch and water yes, but tea? She smiled and said “That would be lovely. Thank you.”

Avis noticed Sparrow looking at the sign above the door. ‘”I made us a Bed and Brunch to differentiate us—I serve breakfast as late or early as you want. We are pretty relaxed around here. Would you like a sandwich to go with that tea?’

Sparrow nodded gratefully. As she settled into her room, she put her feet up on the bed and thought about her day so far. It was only 1:00 in the afternoon.  She had expected to be home in another four hours, and James would be wondering where she was.  He was taking care of her dog and had been reluctant to take on the job in the first place, but she had assured him she would be back by late Thursday afternoon. She glanced at the cell phone she had remembered  to pick up from the car seat along with her laptop, but it was still flashing “out of range”.

Avis knocked on the door with a tray. It held a silver tea service, and thinly sliced smoked salmon curled up next  to a croissant. The smell of the tea was familiar. Its spiciness reminded her of the smell the entire town seemed to emanate.

Published in: on May 25, 2012 at 3:27 pm  Comments (34)  
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Time for Ghoulies and Ghosties and Long Legged Beasties

Cover of "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie...

Cover of It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

 Kingsville is my hometown on Lake Erie near Windsor

“A house is never still in darkness to those who listen intently; there is a whispering in distant chambers, an unearthly hand presses the *snib of the window, the latch rises. Ghosts were created when the first man awoke in the night.”  J.M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan, is the originator of these words which are an eerie prelude to this season of Halloween. Many find the dark quiet and comforting, a respite from the busyness of the “lighted” hours. But at this time of year, we do pause, even for just a moment on Halloween and wonder if the ghoulies and ghosties and unexplained things that go bump in the night are getting restless.

Are there ghosts? I am not prepared to deny their existence. If they are like Casper then all is well, but as for some of his green tinged ghastly cohorts and diaphanous friends the colour of fog, I am not so sure. Kingsville famously has the ghost, George, who resides at Kings Landing. By all accounts, he is mischievous but never hurtful or threatening. From my cursory research, his existence is known only through phantom footsteps and flickering lights as he is shy and has never shown his gossamer self. In other words, George is my kind of ghost.

An online blog called Red Room that I belong to asked us to write our favourite ghost story. I do not have a favourite ghost story—although if I had to choose one, it would be about George—being a hometown boy and all. But I must admit, his penchant for turning taps on and lights off is not an appealing trait.

I have adopted the “cute and fuzzy school of Halloween”; my stance on the scarier side of the celebration is to ignore it. I love the little princesses and frogs that come to my door, the boys and girls dressed as their favourite heroines and heroes—be they caped, crowned, or sparkly. I admire imaginative costumes, even if they are creepy, for after all, even I have to accept and respect that Halloween’s more gory aspects has its admirers, though I am not one, nor will I ever join their fold.

In light of  my penchant for an non-scary Halloween, I typed in “cheery Halloween quotes” and Googled it. This is what I came up with—a few funny quotes and moan worthy jokes. So if you are like me, and not fond of the dark side—read on. If you do like the dark side, well just consider the following an expansion of your horizons into another kinder, gentler universe:

“I’ll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.” – Unknown Author

“There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin.” – Linus from ‘It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown’

“Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn’t even the star of his own Halloween special.” – Chris Rock

“Nothing on Earth is so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night.” – Steve Almond

“On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.” – Rodney Dangerfield

A few jokes the website terms as funny follow—you be the judge:

Q. What do the skeletons say before eating? A. Bone appetit!

Q. What happens when two vampires meet? A. It was love at first bite!

Q. What’s a Vampire’s least favourite song? A. Another one bites the dust!

Q. Why was the mummy so tense? A. Because he was all wound up.

Q. Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? A. He didn’t have the guts.

If nothing else, you can pass these jokes onto any eight year old you know—they will appreciate them. As for me and Halloween at my house, I may don my witch’s hat (with veils and pretty silky black flowers),  give out some candy, then turn my lights off at 8:00. After all even witches need to get their beauty sleep. (I have purchased my candy a little ahead of time—but bought stuff that does not tempt me—there is nothing worse than candy bars that call to you in the night, except maybe for ghoulies and ghosties and things that go bump in the night!)

*If you are wondering, a snib is the catch that holds the bolt on a lock.

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