Simple is not Easy

margaritas

margaritas (Photo credit: M. Martin Vicente)

Simple is not easy

Told someone yesterday to be happy ~

To fake it for a while until the feeling was authentic;

They looked at me as if I had fallen off the turnip truck

They could not fathom happiness

It was not within their current vocabulary

They could not grasp the concept.

As I said

Simple is not easy

Happiness sounds simple

It is not easy.

What do you think about happiness? Sounds simplistic—but it is hard work I think.

This post was inspired by Margarita who said this to me in response to my post Let It Be:

Dearest LouAnn, “simple” and “easy” are not synonyms, in my experience. Just because a concept is simple, does not mean it’s easy to execute. Once I released myself from that perception (simple=easy), it was easier to let things be. xoxoM

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Published in: on August 24, 2013 at 10:30 am  Comments (38)  
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38 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I wasn’t a believer in the “fake it till you make” theory. I’m on board today.

    • I was not either–I am now–you just have to give it the old college try :)

  2. Actually it’s the premise of cognitive therapy!!

    • very astute–see I am smarter than I thought!

      • Well, I know you are kick-ass smart…what’s taken you so long? ;-)

      • ha ha – thanks!

  3. Fake it til you make it often works for me. Ive got the Life of Brian song “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life as my ring tone. With practise, it does help. I’ve had a bit of a physical set back this month again with my MS, but I keep thinking with the dose of steroids that I’ve just been put on, I should probably be able to win the Tour de France afterwards. :) That, and life goes on.

    • Love your attitude–just wish you did not have to call on it so often–wishing you the best but I know you already make the best of your situation(s)–all of them–not just MS

  4. Happiness is not always easy to manifest but wherever we are in life, we must remember the impermanence of the moment. The expression, “this too shall pass” is a good one to remember. Have a great weekend LouAnn.

    • I have called on that saying many times–but we have had a particularly rough situation that has taken its time in passing (8 years!)–but I shall still stick to it

      • Sending light and love your way LouAnn. :)

      • thanks so much!

  5. Simple has never equated to easy. Try threading a needle.

  6. I remember when I was told to fake it til I made it and I was excited. Then I discovered I couldn’t freakin do it. The PTSD and chronic fatigue made me have to not fake it for a while. I think there’s a balance and sometimes we can’t fake it and its healthy, and other times we can and that’s healthier than not. I needed to get messy and fall apart a bit/a lot. But now when I fall apart I know it’s healthy and that I’m sill coping with life stuff inbetween – I can find a balance. I’m now able to fake it til I make it but its really hard! It’s like I had to do a chunk of the intense healing before I begun this faking it til I make it saga. It works. And initially I think it’s harder but now I have more trust that actually a load of other people are doing this too – basically everyone! Noone is perfectly confident all the time. The more I know that the more I know it’s okay to fake it til you make it because that’s what most people are doing or have done at some point! I think I find the thing that’s the hardest for me is the trust in it – like, I find it hard if I’m thinking I’m a total failure and I’m acting all confident and capable on the outside then am I actually a failure and that’s what I should be? I have a thing about senserity at the moment and honesty – with myself and with others. That’s where the line comes – faking it but still nurturing yourself. I think as someone who is such a world class self destructer that the faking it HAS to be in a way that I know is nurturing to myself…otherwise I can’t do it. For example, knowing a time to fake it and a time to be honest and real. Like at work – appearing and doing okay when you’re dying from nerves inside leaves you feeling empowered. But when I’m exhausted and feeling ill and shit or like I’m dying from anxiety or fear, faking it actually isn’t what I need to do. Gentleness and nurturance is what I need…love! Nice to read a post of yours again xx

    • you have certainly put a lot of thought into this and much deeper than I have–you make some very astute points–faking it until you make it is not as simple as my post would have one think

  7. It is true, LouAnn. Happiness is a choice and not always a response to outside circumstances.

    • if we waited for outside circumstances to make us happy, for the most part we would be waiting a long long time!

  8. Doing for others….something that will benefit someone else can give us a lift. I agree with Cathy, happiness is a choice.

  9. Can’t be happy today. My dear neighbor died in a risky but fairly routine surgery. But this too will pass…..and happiness will come again.

  10. I once read a book called Change or Die: http://www.jfdperfsolutions.com/modules/news/article.php?storyid=112

    There is one story where a woman works with the 1%ers, the prisoners no one thinks can be changed. And one man she works with is socially inept and she tells him he has to be empathetic and kind and he says he doesn’t know how. She tells him to watch TV shows and mimic compassion and how the people treat each other. Just say the words, just do it and it will become part of you.

    I know there are circumstance that challenge us for a time but we can always eventually come back to happiness. I’ve always believed in fake it till you make it! Great post!

  11. I like fake-it-till-you-make-it. After a while, I’ve forgotten if I’m faking it or if I’ve made it, the point becomes moot and I just move along! I’m glad my words helped, LuAnn. Thank you! xoxoM

    • they really helped–thank you so much for the inspiration–the goal is to forget we are faking it!

  12. An exchange I heard at a meeting one day:
    “How ya doin’?” aksed an older man, face full of smile.
    “Oh, I’m good, thanks,” the younger man said forlornly as he slumped into his chair.
    “Well you better tell your face to catch up!” the old guy said.

    Funny how wisdom is easily remembered when delivered with humour!

    XO

  13. Happiness while it is one word… takes so many facets of life to bring about I think… how others treat and react to us, how we really feel about ourselves ..(do we like who we are)… our circumstances in life…financial, health…and the list goes on… So it’s no wonder why it’s not all that ‘simple’ to obtain it … just my thoughts Diane

    • Diane – that is so very true and it is hard to fake it sometimes but you cannot stay mired in sadness all the time–it does bad things to you

      • For sure it does…’depression 101′ Maybe all facets cannot be the best all of the time..we need to concentrate (to self) on the ones that are… Diane

      • I agree

  14. Hey, I wrote you a long comment on here yesterday but notice its not here anymore? Lemme know as perhaps it didnt work, and I’ll write it again as I loved this post. Or if it did and you deleted it, lemme know too! X

    • sorry I did not see it–sometimes I forget to hit reply and have lost comments I have made–extremely frustrating–I certainly did not delete it

  15. For me, happiness is changing my old negative habits and patterns of thinking. Restructuring how I perceive events in my life. Letting the bad stuff come to the surface, then letting it go. Of course, this is hard to re-train myself but worth it. I wouldn’t even say “happiness” but more of “contentment”.

    • ah, contentment, a beautiful word, a beautiful feeling–and I agree with you, you have to let the bad stuff come to the surface and deal with it and not live in total denial

  16. Ah, this is familiar ground! The age old question…how to be happy? I agree that sometimes acting as if is the key…Act as if I’m happy, as if all is well…usually helps, if it does not completely reset my mood/thinking/etc. I often realize…my emotions can move from positive to negative without anything significant changing…what’s that about? I don’t think I’m a moody person. Maybe hormones? The other key to happiness is to get up and get doing…sitting and thinking about it doesn’t help! Thanks for the thought-provoking post! ~ Sheila

    • I think hormones can definitely be blamed and it is so true if you get up and get doing it makes all the difference in the world


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