Just Wondering

English: Blogs on JoopeA

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Do you tend to have a different personality when you comment on blogs? I do.

There are some blogs that I really admire, and feel that my response should be somewhat intelligent. Though I have always thought I was fairly bright, sometimes there is a chink in my armour and I discover (somewhat nonplussed) that I have vast reservoirs of things I should know, but don’t.

Then there are the funny blogs, where I feel not quite up to the challenge, but I try anyway—sometimes successfully, but sometimes I probably come across a bit lame. I have a gentle sense of humour, sometimes clever (I think) but never of the slapstick genre which could make me look a bit like a stick in the mud.

I am awed by many of the poetry blogs—their way with words is amazing and sometimes (if truth be told) I am not positive about what they are alluding to—so I read the other comments first to see if I am on the right track. But I so admire those who can describe things beatifically.

Most photography blogs are pretty straightforward and I can appreciate the talent that goes into the photos (I can appreciate but not duplicate). These blogs open up a whole wonderful world—but I can only comment on how the photos make me feel, and not their technical expertise.

I love food blogs—I cannot add much but my admiration though. But I enjoy reading about food—always have, always will. (And of course, eating it!)

There are some blogs where I just click with the author—anything I say is accepted with a laugh or a smile and I am free to express myself as myself, with no fear of being misunderstood. These blogs represent the good friends I have made in this cyber world.

I have had a few rare comments that seem set on trying to get an uncomfortable conversation going—where I am affronted by an opinion rather than presented with one. I try never to do this as I am not sure how to respond and do not want to put others in that position. I have learned not to comment when I am tired, or in a bad mood, or upset. At the beginning of my blog career I may have left a comment or two I was not proud of—and they haunted me. So I try very hard to be, what is that elusive word?—nice, which does irritate some as they want what they call real feedback that shows backbone. I have a backbone, but prefer to keep it out of my comments.

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde po...

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde poster.  (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I always strive to be myself, but have come to the conclusion that I have several selves.

Bliss is the realization that we have alternate personalities. So—do you have a different personality depending on the blog you comment on?

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Published in: on May 15, 2013 at 12:07 pm  Comments (71)  
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  1. I find some of the comments do match the author’s voice in their blog, but once you reach that level of friendship, the comments are true to their personality and not just their words.

  2. I’m not sure that it’s so much about changing your personality, I think it’s really about being sensitive to different environments. In the real world we wear different types of clothes for different places that we go, and we speak, and write, and act more formally or more casually depending on where it is and who we’re with and what the situation is. I think the way we comment on different blogs is just an extension of what we naturally do anyway.

    • that is very smart and true–never thought about it that way–so I am not being tri-polar–I am being sensitive! That is a much better way to look at it–and it makes sense too. I can always count on you to say the right thing.

  3. You are so spot on with many that I can relate to….I have learned too that one should really not give ‘I know what the answer is’ advice to someone who is not asking for you to solve their problem or dilemma they are blogging about. Some just want to express their issue or feelings …with those I try to just ‘sympathize or empathize in my comment ..There are others that truly do want some advice…and in that case I will offer some if I feel it’s valid…..

    Also if I don’t like or agree with a person I will just not comment at all as you indicated I would not like to be drawn into a any type of conflict and again it is their prerogative to say what they want…

    ..just some added thoughts…Diane

    • sympathize and empathize are two things you cannot go wrong with–and like you–if I do not agree I just leave no comment-Diane your comments are always friendly, thoughtful and welcome

  4. The only time I really feel that pressure is if I’m commenting on a humor blog. I feel like I should try to be funny, but I agree that the tone of my comments do tend to mirror the author of the blog. For my own blog, I think the best feeling in the world is knowing that someone feels comfortable enough to fully be themselves in the comments section.

    • I agree with you–I too want people who comment to feel comfortable and know their feedback is an elixir
      You stated it really well–that you try to match the tone of the blogger–I think you do a wonderful job of it!

  5. I relate to this. I try to keep my voice my own, but…yes. I find when I’m reading a humor blogger, I try really hard to be funny. Guess what? I’m very hit or miss. Mostly miss, which is kind of embarrassing. I just think it is wonderful that you are out there making connections! Thank you for being one of my frequent flyers!

    • I am glad to be one of your frequent flyers–and your blog is one of my easy ones to comment on

  6. Great blog, LouAnn, my goodness you made me think!

    It’s tricky to think about whether one’s personality is different blog to blog, or whether this calls into question what blogging is all about. I’m not sure our personality changes per se, I think we’re tactful and polite most of the time and give responses that are positive and will be welcome to the fellow blogger.

    I’m not sure we can expect bloggers to give ‘lit crit’ as it were, nor do I think we’d necessarily welcome it. Perhaps we could liken this to spoken word events (?)

    On the other hand, of course, it’s always useful to have open feedback on our work.

    I guess it’s ‘horses for courses’ – if we want lit crit, ie serious constructive criticism on our work, it seems to me we have to attend a writing circle or group or a writing course with a good tutor. If we want to share our work with like-minded people, blogging and spoken word events are good vehicles to do this.

    Hope this makes sense :)

    • it more than makes sense–feedback is wonderful and sometime I ask for specific help–but as one other person who commented said–we are usually looking for a sympathetic ear
      I agree- spoken word and blogging seem to be sharing–while we can get criticism from other sources

  7. It’s true, LouAnn. I do shift my voice when commenting on various blogs, especially the witty, funny ones. Like you, I do have a gentle wit and sense of humor but for me (not you, I love your humor), I’m not sure it always comes across on the web.

    • humour is a difficult thing–what is funny for one is not funny for another — I find that you are one of the beatific writers and photographers–but I always get your poetry

  8. Well you’ve made me think….. and I suppose it is about being sensitive to the place and person (the blog you are reading) whilst still being you and being constructive, aware or sensitive. So maybe we do wear different hats. I must admit to being a bit intimidated by humour blogs – I’m not quick enough there (well not normally)

    • people who write humour just want to be appreciated I think–they are not really expecting us to be humourous back (I hope)

  9. I love that you admittedly struggle with obscure poetry. I much prefer that poets spit it out😜

  10. I try to ensure that I am saying something that won’t be taken the wrong way. Mostly I am slightly middle of the road, bland, nice Canadian with a slight twist. Or at least I think so.

    • it is the twist that makes you highly readable and you are not bland my friend–nice Canadian–I will agree to

  11. I don’t think I have a different personality. I think different blogs bring out different aspects of my personality. I’m a wysiwyg. My Myers Briggs personality type proves it. Most people show a tendency toward one personality at work and another at home or in social situations. I’m flat out ESTP everywhere I go.
    Now I’m wondering if my blog is one of the funny ones. I feel a little “ENFJ” coming on. What’s up with that?

    • I think that is very astute–that different blogs bring out different aspects of your personality–
      yours is one of the intelligent, passionate, and yes, amusing blogs–so you are a combo–I am not sure what wysiwyg or ESTP or ENFJ mean–I have done the Myers Briggs thing on the internet but do not remember anything other than the fact that I am an introvert but really really smart (okay I made the last part up)

  12. I try to have the same voice wherever I write, whether it’s my own posts or in comments. Of course, I use my real name — it’s my real name — so it’s very much “me”.

    • consistency–good in parenting, good in life–I suffer a bit here in my inconsistency–but I try

  13. What an interesting thought! I think I’m me when I reply. I try to be friendly. I avoid controversy as I’m afraid it could be misunderstood.

  14. I definitely guilty of catering my comments to fit the style of the blog I’m commenting on. I just like to think that I’m filtering my voice, not masking it. Kinda the same principle as using my “business voice” on the phone at work. I like to think it’s still me and my voice, just a slightly filtered (or unfiltered!) version of it.

    I also made the mistake of leaving a critical comment on a divisive blog post–and I got chewed out by the author, who turned out to be a pretty prominent journalist. YIKES. I still stand by my thoughts, but I did apologize for what she seemed to think was an aggressive remark. I thought I sounded polite while asserting my difference of opinion, but therein lies the great problem with the Internet—you can never assume someone’s tone from their writing alone. Lesson learned! No polarizing comments from here on out for this gal.

    • I made the same mistake–so now I filter my voice as you do–that does not mean we are being any less sincere

  15. Very interesting post and comments. I think I reply in kind and as me! My own blog limits my self-expression in that it only deals with the beautiful things in life and I enjoy being challenged in some of those I read. I enjoy being able to be political on some blogs, to enjoy slices of different lives on others and to simply enjoy the company of like-minded people in many. I sometimes show more of myself in blogs that I know my family don’t read! :)

    • I know–I always try to be aware of who is reading me when I do a post–sometimes I forget–
      You come across as a smart and kind person interested in all life has to offer

  16. I agree with Honie. I think different blogs bring out different aspects of my personality. I also feel that if I’m trying too hard to fit – then likely that blog will eventually fall by the wayside because it’s too much like work. ;) I just want to be true to who I am and have that easy give and take – no judgements, no need to be false. That’s where the friendships are born, right? I’m hoping I’m a blogger that you click with, LouAnn. When I read that paragraph I thought – this is my relationship with LouAnn. Ahh… Casual, easy, caring, relatable. I feel like I could walk in your front door and blend in – of course I’d end up in the kitchen eating something! LOL!

    • You are one of the very bloggers that makes this whole world wonderful–I think we could walk into each other’s houses and feel at home– you and I definitely click (and like to eat!)

  17. I have a very warped sense of humor, so I have to be very careful what I say as I know without being face to face and hearing the inflection in my voice as well things I say can be taken the wrong way.

    • sometime you just cannot express things in writing– and I guess we do have to be careful – you do a darn good job

      • Thank you, now and then I mess up but fortunately not too badly.

      • I have never seen you mess up

      • Lol, I do but hopefully not too many notice when I do.

  18. I think I have the same personality on any blog. But as in real life, I avoid confrontations and controversial comments. I think everyone has a right to his/her opinion, but I don’t think everyone always needs to share it. :) Guess I’m more a pollyanna can’t-we-all-just-get-along person.

    • I love people who just want to get along–do not know why there are people who don’t

  19. I get tongue tied everywhere

    • me too – except when I write or am unsure of myself–for tongued-tied you are pretty darn good at making a bow

      • Oh You are too kind. My bows are always lopsided and too loose :)

      • who likes a perfect bow? I am not Martha Stewart

  20. I don’t think I’m vastly different in my comments across the blogosphere but I have noticed that I tend to shrink a little when the blog I’m on is written by someone with a particularly distinctive voice (either lots of humor that I can only be envious of or is a very thoughtful, intelligent one). For the most part though, I figure that once people get to know me, they’ll know my style of commenting and will either appreciate it or leave it. I also avoid confrontations and try to be as respectful as possible.

    • you always come across as so thoughtful and bright–you should have no worries–but I too shrink a little at the more passionate blogs–not because I do not like them–passion is wonderful–sometimes I do not feel that I am up to it

  21. I particularly relate to what you said about humour LouAnn. I love to read other people’s crackling witty reponses, but I know it’s not my style, and I always feel rather lame if I comment… so I tend not to..
    .
    And yes… I once made a comment which I thought was part of the discussion on a blog, and had such a vicious and abusive reply from what I then realised was a far right pressure group that i learned a hard lesson – make sure you really understand the blog before commenting !
    I always find your blog entertaining and thought-provoking…

    • yes, I have walked away from a few blogs I did not understand or seemed intolerant, but fortunately not often

      I am glad you find me entertaining–I find your life just fascinating and you tell a wonderful story

  22. I think I am the same personality, but it is true that not every blog post brings it out in the same way. I don’t think we can isolate ourselves from the fact that there are two energy exchanges happening here, so our mental response is only one half of the equation, it is very much about the content posted and the way it is delivered, it either inspires us to bring forth something that matches our knowledge and personality, or at other times, we find ourselves not quite making the connection and a little lost for words perhaps.

    Even though I go in with the same intentions always, I may occasionally encounter a blog where my comments are misunderstood (terrifying to receive a counter-response that says What Do You Mean? when one can almost visualise the slightly grumpy face that goes with it! :) I may persevere, but being sensitive to certain vibes, I probably avoid commenting somewhere where the wavelength is not quite in harmony with my own.

    It’s the law of attraction working out there, we invite in what we offer out.

    • I love the expression “two energy exchanges” — sometimes you are on the same wavelength and sometimes you are not–you and I have no problem that way at all
      I also steer clear when the vibes are not right–and you can most certainly sense them

      • Even your blog title beckons and once here, it does indeed feel like home. :)

      • I love the word home- I am drawn to it and so am glad it is part of my title–I am glad it beckons to you

  23. […] who I tried, unsuccessfully, to call HomeFab because the name of her blog is onthehomefrontandbeyond, inspired this post. So, you can thank her for this little detour into the fascinating world of […]

  24. Just keep being you. That’s what I do – because that’s all I know how to do ;)
    I don’t know if I always get the poetry either. Sometimes I wonder if I get my own – LOL

  25. Yes, I think you are correct. And I have learned- at least I think that I have to stop trying to be funny when sometimes it comes across as too sarcastic and this happened to me when commenting on one of your posts. I apologized and I asked you to amend my comment. I still think of it and wish that I had not been so foolish.

    So yes, I would think that probably nearly everyone has two sides of their blogging self. But don’t we all in various situations other than the blogging world. One must constantly adjust to changes in life. Adapting might be a good word or not.

    • yes, I think adapting is a good word for it–we have to do it inside and outside the blog world
      even if you did say something that came off as sarcastic (and I was never offended) be assured that I have a short memory

  26. I think I’m the same everywhere lol, but perhaps other people are a better judge of that than i am ;)

    xx

    • yes, you are delightful (a reader called me that and I liked it) all the time

      • Awwwww, thanks honey :)

        xx

  27. I love how you can appreciate many different things and you put that appreciation into words :)


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