Hi Mom ~ Bliss is being Blessed with a great Mom

White flowers.

In Memory of my Mom: White flowers. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Michelle says: Today is Mother’s Day in the United States. Wherever in the world you are, write your mother a letter.

Well, Michelle, it is Mother’s Day in Canada too—and I am going to take you up on your prompt—more for me than anything else.

Hi Mom!

Well, to start, I miss you. It has been 21 years now, and not a day goes by that I do not think of the creak in the stairs. An odd memory you might think—but it is one of my most vivid.

When I would come to visit you after I was  married, with toddler Adam firmly held by one hand, and baby Tyler balanced ever so precariously in my other arm, (precarious because he was always moving) I would knock on the front door after climbing the four steps to your covered front porch. Then, I would wait to hear the creak on the stairway which led from the upstairs of our house (it was still “our” house even though I did not live there anymore) to the main floor. That creak meant you were walking down the stairs and had hit the step that produced a loud raspy groan that announced any trip down (or up) the stairs (I remember avoiding it when I came in late as a kid and young adult). That squeak meant you were making your way from your sitting room upstairs (my old bedroom) to the front door to let me in—and I knew it was my invitation to just come in.

You would take Tyler from my arms and cuddle him with one arm, and hug Adam with the other. You were always, ALWAYS, glad to see us. You would shepherd us into the middle living room (an odd house—we had a front living room and middle living room that was once a dining room perhaps?) and offer us drinks and food and good conversation. And you would play with the boys—being a grandma was an interactive activity for you. I remember my grandmas were wonderful but they never, ever played with me or took me for walks or taught me things. You did all those things with your grandchildren.

You helped keep me sane as a young mom—and when you left this world for another, I was equipped to handle it.  Equipped but not happy to handle it without you—but as there was no choice I did the best I could.

Life has been good and bad, wonderful and awful over the last two decades. Lots has happened, but suffice to tell you the most important thing: the boys have grown up into fine young men (an odd clichéd thing to say—but true.)

This letter is more for me than you, because I think from where I imagine you to be, you are helping me out along the way and are aware of what is going on in my life and that of your other kids. You know our heartaches and our triumphs and I am sure you laugh and cry for us. I will always think of you as my personal cheerleader, someone who believed (and believes) in me and my brothers and sister. You are our guardian angel—we know that for sure.

There is no proper ending to a letter like this except: I love you mom ~ Lou

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Published in: on May 12, 2013 at 2:21 pm  Comments (47)  
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47 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. *quietly offers a bouquet of white flowers in support of you and tribute to your great mom*

  2. Oh you made me cry. It was beautiful.

  3. Tears are welling up in my eyes as I read this…..so blurry right now, I’m not sure I’m hitting the right keys. Thank you Lou.

    • love you Peg–glad you liked it–sorry it made you cry– but they are tears of good memories hopefully – she loved you and the girls so much (and all the rest of us too)

  4. I cried after reading this and now I’ve returned to comment after a couple of hours work. This is really, really good. I wish that your Mom could have known or still be with you to know what you have achieved as a writer. “You done your Mother proud.”

  5. lovely. lovely.

  6. Just beautiful. tears make me blurry for you and your love, for me and mine -it’s 20 years sine I ‘lost’ my Mum and I miss her still. Sending love to all those who are Mums, have had Mums and who are still to be Mums – there is nothing like the love that comes with being a Mum and I think we only really realise that as we become Mums ourselves. :)

    • that is so true–there is a depth to it that cannot be realized until you are a mum yourself

  7. Beautiful…happy mother’s day!

  8. That’s such a nice memory to immortalized – I can hear the step creak as I read. Happy Mother’s Day.

  9. Beautiful sentiments…..Diane

  10. You brought a tear my friend that was so lovely :)

    Cheers
    Choc Chip Uru

  11. Beautiful. Are these thoughts in retrospect, or did you realize how special your mother and your boys’ grandmother was at the time?

    Happy Mother’s Day. I’m sure your mother is in your thoughts and now she is in ours. Feeling her smiling down on all of us is making me smile.

    • I think I had started to realize how special she was–but our time was cut short. I am glad this made you smile –thank you

  12. For so many reasons, I loved this. Thanks, Aunt Lou. And happy Mother’s Day to you.

    • Happy Mother’s Day to you Krista–I am glad you liked this–do you remember the creak in the stairs when grandma would come downstairs?

  13. Oh LouAnn, that is truly a beautiful tribute to your mom and thank you for sharing such wonderful memories. Like others who commented above, I read your post earlier today, but I wanted to wait until I was alone after everyone else went to bed tonight to read it again and reflect as well on my time so far as a mother and memories of special times with my mom. Happy Mother’s Day my friend :).

    • hope you had a wonder Mom’s Day–we do need that quiet time to reflect and remember–I have wonderful memories and a lot to live up to

  14. I’m sure your mom knows the feelings you have, even if she isn’t here. This was simple and heartfelt, exactly the way a letter should be. Happy Mother’s Day.

  15. What an amazing tribute to your mother, you really were blessed.

  16. Well done … and thanks for rekindling thoughts of my mother who passed away in 1987.

  17. Beautifully written LouAnn.

  18. Beautiful! And I love your memory of the creak in the stairs…isn’t it often some little thing like this that can put you right back in the moment, even years later? Like a scent or music…what a sweet tribute to your mom. Thanks for sharing from your heart! ~ Sheila

    • thanks Sheila–there are odd little things we remember that make the memories rush back–that creak was one of them

  19. How very sad to have lost your mother. How very beautiful for you to share this tribute with us.

    • thanks Kathy — should be used to it by now but I do not think it is something you ever get used to–but you learn to cope

  20. This is just so beautiful, Lou. Mothers are so precious, and you must miss yours so much. Hugs

  21. I wrote a letter to my mom too.. just that I cannot give it to her. She’s passed. 22 years now. But still alive in me. Sadly, I don’t remember anything about her. I was only 3. But after reading this letter, I have started to admire you a little bit more. Happiness be yours LouAnn.

    -Asha

    • and happiness be yours too–I am glad that you recognize that your mom is part of you–


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