Cupid Sometimes Misses Mark

Love

Love has many guises (Photo credit: praram)

We all see them. Ignore them if you will. But little pink and red hearts have been floating around since mid-January, and what else could it mean other than that celebration that starts some hearts a-fluttering, and some hearts to drop.

I have always had a love/hate relationship with the day, depending on my relationship status. Some years I would ignore it, some years embrace it, and other years look on it as an annoyance. This year I will celebrate my 31st wedding anniversary, so I have come to blissful terms with it.  But, I am still somewhat flummoxed by the fact that males are on the hook for this holiday for some reason, and females get a pass. It is a mystery.

I have decided to think of Valentine’s Day as I think of the month of February. I am not going to fight it. I have come to the comfortable conclusion that it is a day to show others that you care, a day to remind of us of romantic love—captured, lost, or remembered, and a day when we should look beyond the flowers and chocolates and jewellery to the heart, and to friendship, and to genuine caring.

Maribeau, a French revolutionary and journalist sums up my feelings on romantic love quite neatly. Call me a sceptic, a cynic, or a hopeless romantic, this is what he said:

“Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion.”

So what do you think of Valentine’s Day? Do you think Maribeau was right? Is Valentine’s Day a blissful day for you, or an annoyance?

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Published in: on February 5, 2013 at 3:46 pm  Comments (82)  
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  1. All I can say is that there won’t be any chocolate around our house this Valentine’s Day because we are all on a diet LOL!!

    • tell me it isn’t so……..(sob)

      • I know, it sounds like a nightmare come true doesn’t it?? However, I did lose 5 pounds in one week, so I am quite motivated now :), and I feel awesome!!

      • that is a wonderful motivation – good luck – tell me what you are doing

      • Mike, Daniel, and I are all counting calories. There is an app which you can get on iPhones or Android phones called Lose It, and it calculates how many calories you should have in a day based on your height and weight and how much you want to lose. Then you just scan the barcodes on food or just search for the type of food, and it logs everything you eat in a day. It’s awesome!! I think you can even just get it on your computer. It makes it a lot easier when you keep track of what you are eating and kind of scary too :). The hardest part is trying not to eat before bedtime because that’s the worst time to eat of course, but it’s so much easier when everyone in the house is doing this at the same time :).

      • it would be cause then you have no bad food to hide

      • Ya, when we went to visit Bryan on the weekend we took him all the bags of chips we had just bought on sale for 50 cents each so there wouldn’t be any temptation at home. He’s skinny as a rail, so he can eat like a pig and never gain an ounce.

      • I was skinny in university too

      • Me too – then I had kids :). I always blame them LOL!!

  2. I’m somewhat indifferent to it. I generally like to mark it in some way, with an exchange of a small gift, and maybe I’ll cook a nice dinner, but I’m not into huge romantic gestures (giving or receiving of them!). I think a lot of what is done on Valentine’s Day, by a lot of people, is done out of a sense of duty more than anything. Or maybe I’m just in a cynical mood today!

    • I agree with you – would rather get an unexpected token of love or caring — but it is a nice reminder to be kind to others

  3. Each year it seems to hold a different meaning. This year it will be an annoyance. That’s why I plan to buy myself a huge bouquet of flowers and write myself a beautiful letter of encouragement and praise. :)

    • I have had those years–don’t forget the chocolates–feed the body and soul–love the idea of the letter–we should all do that exercise

  4. I generally like Valentine’s Day, I remember one Valentine’s day with great fondness. I think I was 19 or 20, maybe older and mom gave me a gold pinky ring with my initial engraved on it.
    Today it’s a great excuse to give chocolate and receive it :)

    • She also gave us both silver heart necklaces–I don’t want to argue with you but I think we both got gold rings with our initials for Christmas–but you know I have been wrong before….haha

      • Right you are Lou! How come your memory is better than mine, after all you are older! Lol

      • it was only better this time!

  5. My husband does not celebrate Valentine’s Day because he says it is a Catholic holiday and he is not Catholic (Saint Valentine you know). He also thinks it’s a Hallmark Holiday. So in the over 40 years we have been married, I have never seen a card much less chocolate or jewelry. The day goes by and each time I think maybe he will come through, but nope – nothing. It has become a family joke now and I am finally beginning to think it’s funny too. :)

    • I can understand why you did not find it funny earlier–but I do agree somewhat with your husband–so many things are manufactured by commercialism and we feel dictated to–he would probably like showing you other times how he cares than Valentine’s Day

  6. I can’t help but smile at the cuteness of the day though god knows if I went anywhere with anyone my parents would ground me for life – not till uni :p

    Cheers
    Choc Chip Uru

  7. I loved this. Just earlier as I was walking past the shops with a friend, I came out with the words “Oh fuck off valentines day…” ;) This year I’m feeling angry at the world and so I think that is coming out at things like this! But, in all fairness, it is the commercialism I hate. And actually I love the thought of honouring those you love, but I do think that should be a continual year round thing. It is just nice sometimes to have another ‘reason’. Speaking of February – I have some weird feeling about this month not being good. It is that kind of weird inbetween month. I had a really good feeling about january, and that showed up towards the end, but I was disconcerted by my ‘feeling’ that february wasn’t going to be a good one. But then I realised, it feels like it will be a good one for me but something out of myself might go tits up. But hey, I can’t predict these things, I can just remember that I feel as though in myself things are going to be okay this month…the rest will happen however it happens.
    Happy early valentines to you x x

    • I do feel we are dictated to by commercialism sometimes — hope your February does go well – but I am having an uneasy feeling too – and trying to stave it off

  8. Well, Valentines Day wasn’t a happy day for Fr.Valentine, the day’s namesake as it was the day that the Romans executed him by beheading.

  9. I think they have it figured out in Japan… on February 14, Valentine’s Day, women give gifts (often chocolate) to men then one month later on March 14 which is called White Day, the reverse happens & men give similar gifts to women. These gifts may be given to boyfriends, girlfriends, and spouses but are also given to co-workers.

  10. Happy 31 and counting! I believe the quote for sure-maybe not always-but def most of the time–and def in the beginning stages of that crazy love sickness! My mom used to always celebrate the day by buying me gifts (even after being married and having a son) so I do the same for my son and now his wife, too. Right now I’m compiling a little package of stuff and I’ll bake cookies or something and send it. Except for my obsession with Chanel, I’m really more of a make a gift girl than spending a lot of $$ (again unless it’s you know) It’s really the thought that counts, right? Loved this post!

    • it is the thought that counts–as long as the thought includes Chanel– ha ha — my mom always gave my sister and I presents for Valentine’s Day too

  11. Last year my husband, son and I celebrated with goofy homemade cards (we still have them) and with homemade pizza. We totally avoid going out to dinner on Valentines Day; the crowds and the service are terrible and the menu limited. And all that pink and red drives me nuts.

  12. We don’t really make a big deal of Valentine’s …maybe once or twice I got flowers…we maybe give cards

    What I have an issue with is the fact that all advertisement of and for the day is geared to ‘romantic’ love instead of love period…I know it’s very hard for some that aren’t in a relationship and it’s very tough to get through it….Diane

  13. I’m not off the hook for Valentine’s Day. I always do something for the old ball and chain, er, I mean my adorable husband.

  14. He has a point. I work with children, so we make a big deal out of it. Or rather, we let them make a big deal of it. I just means candy for them. Should be called Sugar High Day.

    • I do remember fondly making our Valentine mailboxes we would put on the corner of our desks in school awaiting Valentines

      • Those Valentines have gone from cute cards in envelopes, to large candies with a scrap of paper (which puts it in the “card” family. Gone are the old days!

      • stomachs more important than the heart at that age

      • Very true.

  15. 31 years? that’s wonderful.. I hope you both have a great day celebrating!!!

  16. I think it is a bunch of “poppycock,” I do hope that is the right term to describe how I feel about all holidays. I have no use for celebrations. Yes, I am an odd ball in more ways than one.

    • well, some of them do get out of hand

      • I should clear up my dislike of special day celebrations. I am not some sort of weird religion. I don’t claim any religion. Just that I call myself a Christian. And of late my faith is being sorely tested. I will try to smile sometimes. :-)

      • Mine is being sorely tested too — here is hoping we both come through :)

  17. I think it puts a lot of pressure on people to buy flowers and gifts and tell people they love them, when this should be happening every day of the year! :;)

  18. I happily sit ‘off the hook’ on V day. I get my husband a card, but other than that, I let him do the giving. :)

  19. I think Valentine’s Day is often just an excuse for girls to demand special treatment from their poor significant others. I tend to just let it go by like any other day and ignore all the blatant commercialism of it all. However, I do kind of agree with Maribeau because love is powerful, in both good and bad ways. Just depends on how it works it’s magic powers on us. ;)

    • as long as we are aware (lol) – I think you have a good attitude about Valentine’s Day

  20. There were times when I thought blah Valentine’s Day. That’s when everyone had a date -but me (we’re talking HS years). Looking back – glad I didn’t. Anywho – I know it’s more than just a “Hallmark” Holiday – it’s a reminder like any other holiday. This one is a reminder to love ourselves. If we got that down – the rest falls into place. Now- V-Day & I get a long & are friends once again :)
    I don’t expect gifts on that day. But – if I get them – I will gladly accept them – LOL ;)
    xoxo

    • I like the idea of love being celebrated, but all kinds of love and caring

  21. Valentine’s is a holiday like Christmas or Memorial Day. Probably need to be Christian to care for Christmas and need someone of importance to care for the second. Not exactly Hallmark, but geared to an audience, yes.

  22. Congratulations on your anniversary… Valentines Day – not for me – though I did walk all round the five mile perimeter of Kew Gardens to try to get my daughter a Valentine’s birthday, so she’d always have cards that day, but she waited till the 16th !!!.

    • my brother was born on the 14th–that is funny that you tried to induce a Valentine’s baby–but she was too stubborn – be happy–my sons came at 29 and 31 weeks

  23. I don’t remember thinking one way or the other about Valentine’s Day. Maybe in my younger days when I was alone it got under my skin, but I’ve never been a fan of the day either. Just another reason to spend money. The two of us stopped giving gifts years ago. Now on my bday and Christmas I make a donation to a charity and call it good. I don’t need gifts. And I’m allergic to flowers so this holiday was always a bust. I hated working in an office and being around the roses–runny nose, burning eyes, and sneezing all day. Finally my coworkers figured out they had to put them in a different room.

    Congrats on 31 years. That’s pretty cool. My grandparents made it to 65 years. Here, we are narrowing in on 10 years–I think. Have to do the math.

    • if we make 65 years we will be older than the hills–good for your grandparents!
      I think when we are alone we don’t like Valentine’s Day (though my mom gave my sister and I lovely gifts); when you have someone new it is important; but later you take it for granted

  24. I like the Maribeau quote. Never really paid too much attention to Valentine’s Day. When I was married I’d sometimes send my wife flowers just beacuse i wanted to, when I wanted to. I got quite a reputation as a romantic in the place she worked

  25. Congratulations on your anniversary! 31 years is incredible!
    Personally I think Valentine’s Day is special, even if my Valentine is far away from me. We’re still exchanging gifts and watching cheesy movies together. I think it’ll be pretty blissful. :)

  26. You brought up a question I’ve had for years and that is why men are required to buy a woman a gift when it’s not expected the other way as well. One that always bugged me was the buying of an engagement ring. I refuse to ever wear one on principal. But back to Valentine’s Day, I never did celebrate it except to give my children something little.

  27. Awe.. Touche on the quote Lou! I am a believer right there with you & Maribeau
    I am a newbie to the land of hopeless romantics but I have always believed my faith is what I cannot see or touch, but I trust it is there. . I just trust.
    Love you embracing the whole month with Love.

    Happy Valentines February my Dear friend~

  28. Valetine’s day is my excuse to eat an entire box of chocolate:-)

  29. [...] Cupid Sometimes Misses Mark (onthehomefrontandbeyond.wordpress.com) [...]

  30. [...] Cupid Sometimes Misses Mark (onthehomefrontandbeyond.wordpress.com) [...]

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