~ Hints I Will Never Use ~

English: A heavy-duty "bow rake" use...

English: A heavy-duty “bow rake” used for soil and rocks (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Read a tip in my daily newspaper today that I will never use. Ever.  Now they say you should never say never—but this one I am sure of. It was submitted by Maureen in the “Tip of the week” section of the paper called Solutions & Substitutions.  Maureen suggests, not tongue in cheek that “If you want to cook several hotdogs over a bonfire, here’s a timesaver. Put the wieners on the tines of a metal rake and cook many at once.” Yeah, right.

Here is another hint I will never use. It is from the book “Haley’s Hints” which boasts “over 2000 of the most extraordinary money & time-saving uses for ordinary household items….at your fingertips.” So, are you ready? On page 154 under a section called “Sewing and Notions” (I already know I am in the wrong section of the book when the word sewing is part of the title) it is suggested that you “Try leaving your hand-sewing in a decorative basket by the telephone or your favourite chair. You can have a chat with friends or watch television and get a few hems and buttons done as well.”

vintage sewing basket

vintage sewing basket (Photo credit: **tWo pInK pOSsuMs**)

I did sew a button on once, and there is proof. My husband (a lovely man with a strange sense of humour) took a picture of me. As if it was some rare occasion. Okay, it was a rare occasion, but I still did not appreciate the fact that he took the picture. Martha Stewart I am not. Enough said.

Have you ever read a tip that you will never, ever use?

Or do you have a tip we can all use?

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Published in: on November 8, 2012 at 1:51 pm  Comments (57)  
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57 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. You made me giggle…I’ll have to think of a tip and get back to you! :)

    • giggle is good – awaiting your tip with eager anticipation– one tip I do use though is not to put my onions and potatoes in the same bin–the onions make the potatoes sprout

  2. Hot dogs on a rake?!!! What’s the point – I mean isn’t a campfire cookout about enjoying the fire and time together? I think it’s safe to say I would never, ever do that either! Fun post.

    • takes all the fun out if it and makes it a production line–you are right–it takes the fun out of family time (aside from being ridiculous)

  3. That is a weird way of cooking hotdogs. It just can’t be too sanitary! I wouldn’t use that sewing tip either. Whenever I try to sew a button I end up pricking my fingers. =/ I can’t think of any tips right now, but I’ll let you know if I do!

    • I thought the same thing–unless you buy a new rake–I find the whole tip just silly

  4. Someone approached me once and thought that I was Heloise from “hints from Heloise”. It’s as close as I get. (I googled her and I say no. I don’t know what that person was seeing…)

  5. I think your hot dog tipper stole that idea from Amy Sedaris, whom I’m pretty sure was being sarcastic. Check it out: http://youtu.be/vwjsZQ-VxdY

    So glad I found your site! Fabulous.

    • maybe–but the lady who writes the column in the paper took it seriously–that is funny!

  6. What a laugh! Like you, I do not sew,

  7. a long time ago sarah jessica parker told a magazine she lifts soup cans in her kitchen like dumbbells while talking on the phone, to fit in some extra exercise. i’m sure she’s a busy woman, although this was before marriage/kids, but never liked her since.

    i like your husband’s sense of humor ~

  8. As someone who does occasionally sew, the idea that I would have a telephone in one hand and sewing with the other is quite ludicrous. Most people, unless they’re wearing a head set, need two hands to sew! Haha!

    • that is true–you are one smart girl, and that was some dumb tip–on so many levels

  9. You and me and sewing….not my favourite thing to ‘try’ to do….Hemming track pants I’ll attempt…but they never seem to come out the right length when I’ve done them lol …good pants go to the professionals…Diane

  10. RoTip: Always check if there is enough toilet paper available before you go…

    BTW – It’s a no go on the rake & hotdog bit

  11. I’ve been know to throw away a shirt rather than sew a button back on. Oh, and I am suddenly in the mood for a BBQed hot dog. Not on a rake, thank you.

    • I knew I really liked you–but the story of the shirt just cemented our friendship (lol)

      • Imaging my delight when I found a dry cleaner that mends small tears and sews loose buttons.

      • a golden find indeed

  12. What I love are the really stupid safety tips in instruction booklets like for something that you plug in and it tells you not to immerse it in water LMAO !! They crack me up!

    • some people need those instructions young lady and you should not make fun of them (this is me wagging my index finger at you)

      • LOL – come on!! Even little kids know that or at least they should :). I also like the ones where they tell you to wear safety goggles to use a screwdriver!! LOL

      • I wear safety goggles to do everything–I am a menace to myself and mankind (I am not a menace to womankind)

      • Remind me to never get you and my hubby together. He should have shares in the Bandaid company LOL!!

      • we do sound similar — though I most just break toes

  13. I think it’s fun to read all those household tips and hints, but I don’t think I’ve ever used any of them.

    Oh, except this one! Soak your dingy whites in a mix of bleach, dishwashing detergent and vinegar, in hot hot water. Then wash as usual. They’ll come out snowy white!

  14. Haha you made my morning my friend :)
    I need to think up some tips of my own ;)

    Cheers
    Choc Chip Uru

    • always love to hear from you — awaiting your hints–you probably have a million of them having to do with baking

  15. Here we go again- we have much in common! I have never liked cook-outs and have never done a cook-out. The rake thing sounds totally repulsive- How clean is a rake- not clean enough for this non-meat eater! As for the sewing- well we are about neck and neck. I so hate to sew that I have used duct tape to hem the pants that I wore to work (we could were lab coats with street clothes). I took sewing in high school and made a (c) in the course. I sewed a skirt with a side zipper. That zipper was ripped out so may times I all but tore up the fabric on either side of the ripped out zipper. It was bad!

    Loved this post- cute, cute!

    • my mother was a great seamstress so I did not have to sew–I took it in school too–hated even threading the stupid machines–under my mom’s guidance the stuff in home ec I made did not fall apart–she would not do anything hands on, but would talk me through it

      • You were quite fortunate to have such a talented mom. My mother did not like to sew either but knew how to make pillow cases, hem, sew buttons, patch, that sort of thing.

  16. BEAUTY TIPS. That’s the kind of tips I’ll never use.

    • don’t mess with perfection

      • oh you are so funny!

  17. Here’s a good tip. When bread gets stuck in a toaster, use a chopstick to get it out. Not a metal knife. I tried that once-ouch.

    • like the chopstick hint

      • If I can save just one person from my stupid and painful mistake, it will have been worth it.

  18. My sewing collection consist of a travel size kit. :) And the “sticky” tape that you can use with an iron to fix a hem.

  19. I suppose the hot dog on a rake tip will only work if you’re barbecuing for a hundred people… I once read a tip about leaving workout clothes near your bed so that you’ll feel more incentive to workout in the morning. That would never work with me because I’m not a morning person and I don’t really workout.

    • I can barely make it to my morning walks–and if I did not have a walking partner I am sure I would never go

  20. heh-heh :D

  21. My rake would be delightful after working in my manure and compost filled garden :( Added flavour we don’t need but it would be one way of ensuring unwanted guests never came back!
    I was once visiting a friend (actually, I visited often but…) and she had another friend there, a rather pompous woman who thought she knew everything. She was reading a magazine and a column called ‘What a bright idea’ and saw a tip similar to something she did regularly. She was aghast. “I do that ALL the time,” she said.
    “Yes,” piped up her rather hen-pecked hubby, “but that lady thought to send it in and get the $25 prize. What a bright idea!”
    If looks could kill… :)

  22. This is great – I’m still giggling and gagging at the rake tip! ;)

    • yeah–someone suggested that the rake tip was a joke–but it appeared in a bona fide tip column, so the author of the column did not know she was being had, if in fact she was

  23. Funny post! What a weird tip – putting hotdogs on a rake. I’m just going to rake up some dirt and leaves – maybe some fertiliser – and then use the same rake for cooking hotdogs. Yum Yum!

    I do sew buttons but unfortunately they tend to fall off after a few wears and are always crooked. But at least I try. If I need something hemmed, I tend to wait until I can get home to my mum and she hems it for me (Sad I know for a woman in her thirties to admit).

    I read a tip in an email yesterday: apparently if you want to stop a pot from boiling over you should lie a wooden spoon across the top of it. My office engaged in a lively debate about this one. Can’t wait to find out if it works.

    • let me know if it works, and if your hotdogs taste better with dirt and leaves and fertilizer. Have to say, I hate sewing, and I think it was because I never had to (except in home ec) cause my mom was a wonderful seamstress

  24. my mother read a tip once that you could blanch ears of corn in the dishwasher. having 6 kids, she was always looking for ways to save money. two loads of corn in the dishwasher made for an entire winter of us forcing down soapy tasting ears of corn while she said “if you always have as good you’ll be lucky.” lucky, we did not feel.


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