Offering 1:
e. e. cummings wrote
without capitals sometimes but
not all the time
Offering 2:
e. e. cummings wrote
without capitals sometimes
but not all the time
{Okay, you caught me. I just could not come up with five syllables in the third line of the first offering or seven in the second line of the second offering, but I have a book of haiku that says that you do not have to be rigid about the whole syllable thing. I will dig it out and make it the subject of a post.}
[Can you fix it, or can you live with a fractured haiku?]
New info: a smart reader noticed that the second offering actually did have seven syllables in the second line and I just don’t know how to break down a word. How funny is that? Capitals has three syllables and not just the two I was allowing it. Thanks so much for your input rfljensky.
I can live with a fractured haiku. Good call on the letter E. I’ve always enjoyed e.e. cummings.
I did too – when he was introduced to me in grade 10 it was such a revelation that you could break the rules
i can live with the fractured haiku.
thank you
(lol)
Yay for the fractured haiku!
there is a kind of freedom to breaking the rules!
You did better than I would have done..
hey–what is one syllable among friends?
Fractured is good…..I remember very clearly you liking cummings, and therefore I liked him too…..see what an influence you were.
who knew? glad to hear that I was some influence on you –
xo
Haikuish is fine by me.
That is your unique way of expression & I like it!
Thanks RoSy – you always have such a nice way of putting things!
I love fractured, dh lawrence said something about a broken heart being more beautiful for its cracks.. something like that we should look it up! c
I remember something like that and love that sentiment — thank you
Not even going to try, you did better than I would have.
aw, gee thanks–but I doubt it
No trust me haiku was something I was never good at in school
I don’t have to be
rigid? maybe i’ll try a
haiku now.
there you go – you have my blessing and the blessing of all who are not rigid –so try your hand away
e.e. cummings had a way of fracturing his poetry also – I think that puts you in great company!
thank you for the encouragement – fractured I am–it is settled!
I am not an expert in that style of poetry apart from specific placement and number of syllables, but I know that we English have done a really good job of changing some of the haiku basics, so like the commenter before I think you are in really good company. And I like it too, Penny
I think I am going to have to stop calling these haiku — glad you liked it
I think the 2nd one is a fit.. If I am correct…5/7/5 Syllables
e. / e. /cum / mings / wrote (5)
with / out / cap / i / tals / some / times (7)
but / not / all / the / time (5)
Haha.. you are the master without even knowing it.. aside from that my favorite people are rule breakers
hey, hey, hey – you are smarter than me – cap i tals –thank you –I feel somewhat vindicated! thank you thank you thank you — you are much more observant than I (lol)
Haha.. I was a teacher.. everyone wins all the time…jejejeje
Love that your haiku was, indeed, spot on! I am a fan of e e Cummings too. You are inspiring me to have a go at haiku again! I loo forward to the H post.
All the best to you.
I bet yours would be so thoughtful — am looking forward to seeing your haiku
I’m trying today. Let me know!
you did a beautiful job and the people who keep criticizing my haiku (just one person–and I just delete them) will have trouble finding anything wrong with yours
I have taken to calling them poems to keep the haiku police off my back (lol)
…..and another Russel Ray camping trip comes to an end………………..Hope all is well.
glad you are back — hope all is well with you!